Every Thursday, I lead a support group over a conference call. I facilitate additional support groups as well, and those are hosted over Zoom. But this group of people likes to dial the phone and talk together all at once, so that’s how we keep it. They also playfully scold anyone who calls this a “group,” as I realize I just have above.
“Nope! Nope! We’re a family!”
They’ve decided embrace one another as chosen family. And though the framework of “chosen family” has been a part of my life for a long time — I’ve even writing a book on it; stay tuned!– they didn’t get this language from me. I never used it once with them. Still, it took form, and they have chosen that language and this way of interacting.
That vision showed up for me this week too. I dialed the number and signed in. And this is what I heard:
Happy Birthday toHappy youuuu! Birthday! to Happy! youuuuhappy to youuu to Birthdaytoouuuu Happyyyy dearrrrReneeee! toyouuuReneeeedayy! toyouuuuu!
As you’ll probably guess, I had a recent birthday, and they remembered. They sang together, all at once, and given the conference call medium, it was completely asynchronous. It was a lovely greeting.
The best cacophony.
—Renee Roederer
Smuggling Grace 