Just checking in: How are you all doing after we became aware of a dire ultimatum with a timeline on Tuesday – that genocide, even nuclear weapons, might happen?
That situation really shook me. And there were many reasons for it. Now we have an unsteady ceasefire, and that’s a good thing… sort of. It still has a time clock. I joined many in being deeply concerned for the people of Iran, as well as the globe itself, and the fallout of hearing that “an entire civilization will die tonight.” And if you, or anyone you know, has been a victim of abuse in their own personal lives, that intense line in the sand,
“If you do this, I will…” level of threat gets deeply activated.
And I experienced that in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. For the first time in a year, I was doomscrolling. I usually have personal practices to get me out of this freeze state. But I went there. And maybe you did, too.
For me, the cycle went like this.
- The administration is physically activating me and connecting to early life experiences I’ve had.
- I am checking my phone to not feel crazy or alone.
- I am getting triggered by the intensity I’m seeing on my phone.
- The administration is physically activating me and connecting to early life experiences I’ve had… wash… rinse… repeat.
And if you were feeling overwhelmed or alone, I am telling you this so that you know you aren’t alone.
Most of all, I’m angry that Iranians are living with immense danger and instability. And I’m angry that many – if not most – of us have to feel this, too.
—Renee Roederer
Smuggling Grace 