I don’t feel free.
And
There are many people far less free than me.
And
There are people who are feel like they’re “winning,” who may find themselves less free at the drop of a hat because they helped rig the system to “win.”
And
All of this feels heavy.
Let’s just give that space.
And also,
The way to this is through this.
And also,
The way to independence is through interdependence.
And also,
The way to living is through loving.
–Renee Roederer
Enjoy some gorgeous flowers from my local area.
I figured we might need some beauty this morning. Please enjoy photos of flowers and ducklings.
— Photos by Renee Roederer
Are there certain people or communities that make you feel safer and more at ease?
Imagine them with you today.
–Renee Roederer
A Hug?
A Nap?
A Walk?
A Run?
A Dance Session?
Shaking Things Off For a Moment? (Literally)
Hearing the Voice of Someone You Love?
Noticing Beauty in Nature?
A Comforting Meal?
Settling Into a Good Memory?
Anticipating a Fun Trip You’ve Planned?
Shutting Off The News?
Playing a Game with Children?
Knowing You’re Enough and Worth it?
–Renee Roederer
I do not have a box, a category, or a mental file folder in which to put
POTUS lunges dangerously at a secret service agent, and then attempts to take the wheel of the car so he can arrive at the armed insurrection he himself has just incited.
That is uncharted territory. I don’t know how to store it or digest it.
I only know I am deeply troubled by it.
–Renee Roederer
I heard the “Rocket Man” lyric, and I felt a sudden wave of various emotions. “Oh, I think it’s gonna be a long, long time…” As my Spotify app continued to shuffle my songs, this lyric stood out to me. If there’s anything I know how to do, it’s wait.
I know how to actively wait. (More about that in a moment). Testimony: I can think of so many chapters of my life when I kept living a day by day life, while also pondering the bigger picture and waiting for the on-the-ground conditions to change — within communities, within situations, within conflicts, within circumstances, within pandemic lockdowns, within eras of time.
And I’ve lived to see things change meaningfully, sometimes in remarkable, unexpected ways. I can point to a number of stories like that.
As I said, I know how to actively wait. This isn’t passive.
I know how to live well in the day I’m in, continuing not only to hope for change, but to move it in that direction actively, even in small, but still significant ways — not as an individual only, but within a nexus of relationships. I know that this adds up too. It takes time, and yes, I do grow tired of active waiting.
And it’s crucial to remember too, that people get hurt in difficult conditions, and this is worth grieving, and raging. And they are worth protecting.
I realize that living well in the day I’m in is a *skill.* I was thinking about this on the way home yesterday. This is a skill that’s been developed in me. Maybe in you too? Not without feeling. Not looking away. Not shrugging. But also, when we’re not actively grieving and raging (valid), we are truly protecting, and living, building the world we want to see, and whenever possible, not letting people or situations-at-hand steal our joy.
So here we are. And here this is. And we should feel our feelings, not looking away, and not shrugging.
And we also have this day. We have this very day.
–Renee Roederer
Yesterday, a friend said,
“To paraphrase a song, ‘If I can’t change the world, I’ll change the world within my reach.'”
Yes.
And that also changes the world.
–Renee Roederer
I so appreciated when a friend said, “I’m not always sure I know what to do. I know I can care for the radius of my circle, but…”
I really appreciated that language: Care for the Radius of My Circle.
Even if we’ve used different language, I think so many of us have had this feeling before. Or maybe we have it now. We can care for the people around us, but is it enough to affect change?
Yes, no doubt, we need bigger, systems-wide change in this country. We need large, massive changes in a variety of areas to impact true justice, peace, and safety. But I also wonder… is there any other way to enact change — or at the very least, start it? And is there any better change than to care for “the radius of my circle”?
That larger work to change systems is “care for the radius of my circle,” especially and most directly for those around us who need these changes. But also, care changes things — purposeful intention, support, sharing of resources, offering time, listening, physical aid, emotional connection, meaning-making, mental health check-ins, financial sharing, meals, accompaniment, and companionship. The list goes on.
And it matters. And it has impacts. And it changes things.
This is a huge contribution toward the world we want to build.
–Renee Roederer
What I’d give to have the same rights as guns in this country.
–Renee Roederer
Smuggling Grace 