Dwight Wilson, a member of my chosen family, is a writer of Modern Psalms. In fact, he has published multiple books of them (Check them out here!) He recently shared this one on social media, and it spoke to me. I hope it will do the same for you as well. He graciously allowed me to share it here:
PSALM 53124
Knowing the futility in our actions You watch us hustling and bustling while claiming we are being efficient.
Pausing to breathe and listen for Your voice, we find greenery in mid-winter trees for life itself is more than movement.
Thank You for the will to stop doing and the courage to begin being in harmony with Your graceful vision.
Life itself is more than movement. That is a good message for a Mental Health Monday. May we pause, allow ourselves to be present, and find the greenery in mid-winter trees.
I recently shared an image of my first-ever hydrangea bloom at my house, and I wrote about it as an analogy for nurturing community. I invite you to read,
I arrived home yesterday afternoon after spending time with national colleagues at the Epilepsy Foundation Leadership Conference. Giving a nod to the awareness color for our community, the theme for the conference was, “Paint the Future Purple.” When I approached my front door, with great surprise, my newly-turned-purple hydrangea took my breath away.
Having spent time with my wider community in Atlanta this last week, painting the future purple, I continue to be surprised by the power of what can be created, simply by making space for joyful possibilities.
Jia and Zuri say they are twins. In fact, they tell everyone. They are four years old and go to the same preschool. They are remarkably close and sometimes assert their unique relationship by choosing to wear matching clothes.
Jia is white, and Zuri is black.
When folks ask them what makes people twins, the girls say, “Similarities.” They talk about how they are more than just sisters — certainly more than best friends. Their birthdays are close together, and they are the same height. They like the same things.
Recently, at a birthday party, another child told them they can’t be twins because of their different skin colors. Jia began to cry, but then, she responded with this statement: “We’re twins because we share the same soul.”
Very sweet.
It may also feel precarious. It is easy to wonder how society might deny these girls their connection, and worse, over time, treat them differently based on race.
But they demonstrate a deep connection that sustains them. They assert a vision for that connection with familial language. Why do we insist that things must be literally true, when they are in fact truer than true?
This article from The New York Times tells the story of Spencer Sleyton and Rosalind Guttmann. There is a nearly 60 year age gap between them, but they became friends while playing the game Words with Friends on their phones. Spencer is a rapper and producer from East Harlem; Rosalind lives in Palm Beach, Florida.
The article starts with this really great line. Spencer Sleyton and his friends were sitting around one day naming their best friends. “When it was his turn, he said: ‘My best friend is an 81-year-old white woman who lives in a retirement community in Florida.’”
That was a bit of an exaggeration — maybe not best friends — but they had authentically become quite close. They were assigned to each other via the randomized game player process on Words with Friends, and then they played over 300 games. Throughout these games, they began to use the chat feature to connect, and then they shared wisdom from their lives.
Recently, Spencer Sleyton flew to Palm Beach to meet Rosalind Guttmann for the first time. Such a special experience. Two people who could have easily been strangers now have a special bond.
This is Kinship.
And it’s a reminder that just about any occasion or medium can make this possible. In this case, even a Words with Friends app!
I find myself reflecting on this in my own life and in the lives of people I hold dear. I think about how many simple occasions became entry points to build such life-giving and formative bonds. Many times, I could not have foreseen where they would go.
One common entry point in my relationships seems to be coffee shops. I think about how many meaningful relationships started with getting coffee somewhere. I can look back on various locations and think about them with names attached. This is where I met _______. Here’s where I met ________. Now, these are the kinds of people I cannot imagine not knowing.
There have been other launching points: Returned emails; sitting next to someone at a meeting, then realizing commonalities; Facebook chats, including with people I’ve not met in person; being introduced via shared friendships; showing up for a Meetup Group event.
It always starts somewhere. It can start just about anywhere.
So what new occasions might open doors for Kinship, maybe even soon? We can look for these. We can cultivate these.
All people in this world have needs that are particular to themselves. Every person.
And
All people and all communities have unique and particular strengths to share. Every person, every community.
I’m not sure if we can ever truly run from need, because human need is one of the most honest and real things about us all. But we definitely try. There may be a number of reasons for this. Among them, we’ve internalized lot of cultural narratives about individualism, self-sufficiency, and the belief that we must produce and earn love and belonging. (Psst, those are myths. Dangerous myths).
But those cultural narratives take form in our thoughts and feelings…
“I’m a burden.”
“I’m too much.”
“I don’t want to over-ask.”
“I don’t want to trouble.”
“They’re going to get tired of me.”
“I can’t voice this.”
Soon we’re speaking narratives about ourselves, and we run from our need and from one another. But again,
All people in this world have needs that are particular to themselves. Every person.
And
All people and all communities have unique and particular strengths to share. Every person, every community.
There is no shame in any of this. We can embrace these parts of ourselves. We can share these parts of ourselves. We can love these parts of ourselves.
Smuggling Grace 