Smuggling Grace

I had a chance to visit a lighthouse yesterday. I climbed to the top and thoroughly enjoyed the view of Lake Huron. It was a really gorgeous day, and the blue of the water and the blue of the sky seemed to amplify each other.

As I climbed to the top, the tour guide was funny, engaged, and clearly connected to this place. This was not because he had memorized lines to say, but because he clearly loved where he was and what he was doing. He was very grandfatherly, witty, and playful with the kids on the tour.

It’s lovely to see people connected to places they love, and it feels energizing for communities to connect around those places.

Whatever you do, and whatever you love, keep shining bright, friends.

–Renee Roederer

We sat at an outdoor table, ordered food from a QR code, and discussed what our lives were like during the long lockdown before vaccination. My vaccination was full at the beginning of May, only two months ago. Somehow, it seems much longer than that. My young friend had spent the year overseas on a Fulbright fellowship, and she was able to get her second dose just recently. It was lovely to reconnect, and it was clear that for both of us, our sense of time is still a bit muddled — how long ago did this happen? or this?

As we told our own stories of isolation, both the struggles and the valuable aspects of what we learned, we talked about a time that is still present in our bodies and a time that still has some present impacts. But we were also aware that this new era of time is so different and in ways we welcome.

We were dining together, after all. Midway through our dinner, we decided to taste each other’s cocktails. “We went from total lockdown to sipping each other’s drinks,” she said. It’s the small, routine things that bring this home.

A bit later, I looked up and saw a friend I have not seen in person in a long time. She was walking down the street and spotted me. Immediately we gave each other a big embrace, and then we started planning a time to get coffee or lunch together. “We just run into each other now! This is a thing again!” I exclaimed. It’s the small, routine things that bring this home.

We’ve come a long way.

–Renee Roederer

Do you know your attachment style?

Our attachment style — secure, anxious-preoccupied, fearful-avoidant, or dismissive-avoidant — has a big impact on our we perceive ourselves, the world, and our relationships. Each has its strengths, values, and triggers. And at any time, we can work to move our own attachment style toward security.

In order to do this, we have to be aware of our own patterns.

I’d like to introduce a Youtube Channel to you. I have learned so much from Thais Gibson, the creator of the Personal Development School. She shares videos daily on Youtube, and I find them to be so insightful.

So here’s the channel. I invite you to check it out.
Personal Development School with Thais Gibson

–Renee Roederer

Are you feeling pandemic exhaustion? I don’t mean being tired of a pandemic going on; I mean feeling fatigue regularly now that we’ve moved through the lockdown stage of the pandemic.

This hits home with me. I just don’t have as much energy.

I know this is likely temporary, and it’s helpful (though sad) to know this is a phenomenon many of us are experiencing together.

Here’s an article I found to be helpful:
Pandemic Exhaustion is Different Than Just Feeling Tired. Here’s What to Do About it by Elizabeth Wellington.

–Renee Roederer

“What should I watch?” I wondered, scrolling through Netflix.

I saw that the show “Manifest” was trending as number one on Netflix, and I was grateful for the reminder to try it out. I had recently seen a commercial for the finale, and I wanted to see Josh Dallas’ “new” show. He plays one of the main characters.

The premise of the show is that people board a plane from Jamaica to New York City, and when they arrive, five years have mysteriously passed. Their loved ones all thought they had died, but now they have a second chance. I thought the show was new because it was trending so high on Netflix, but it has actually been on for three seasons, and it was recently canceled. I had a laugh at that, realizing that so much time had passed, just like the plot. Meta.

It’s an intriguing drama, and though I am obviously behind on knowing about this show, I am very proud of Josh Dallas. That’s ultimately what this post is about.

Actor Josh Dallas is from my hometown, and I did high school theatre with him when he was a super cool senior, and I was just a mere freshman. We also had the same voice teacher, and since she loved to brag on her students lovingly, we probably heard about each other from time to time. Well, I know I heard about him; I wouldn’t expect him to remember me since was younger. But all of this is to say, I happen to know he’s a nice guy in addition to being really talented.

It’s really lovely to watch people thrive. We all knew he was going to make it in acting, and he really did. It’s lovely to see it.

–Renee Roederer

After more than a year and a half, I stood at a table in the physical presence of church community, and I broke bread, poured a cup of wine, and prayed beautiful words about love. We then shared this bread and this cup together in the presence of one another.

I was so grateful for this experience yesterday. It was, no doubt, long awaited. I was also reminded that we’ve been connected throughout this entire pandemic. That felt true, and not merely an analogy of some kind. In fact, I met every single member of this church community over Zoom. I’ve been leading worship with them since October, but yesterday was the first time I’d met any of them in person. Yet when they arrived, I greeted them by name as people I’ve come to know.

This is all true, yet it was so special to say, “This bread is the Body of Christ, given for you,” and “This is the cup of salvation for you,” knowing that most of them were right there in front of me.

And others were still connected on Zoom. We plan to keep this form of connection going too.

This bread is for you. This cup is for you.

That’s been true the whole time, and it felt very special yesterday.

–Renee Roederer

I am currently reading Bessel Van Der Kolk’s pivotal work, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Truly, I’d place it in the top five books I’ve ever read.

This book is remarkably insightful and impactful in addressing how traumatic experiences are carried in the body. In addition to explaining the physiology of post-traumatic symptoms in detail, he uplifts a number of somatic approaches to healing trauma and the ways it’s impacting our physiology and relationships.

After experiencing the collective trauma of this pandemic, I am recommending this book to everyone I know.

Have you read it? What do you think?

Also, what what are you reading lately? What would you recommend?

–Renee Roederer

I love hosting.

In fact, if you’re into the Enneagram, my specific type — 2w3 — is called, “the host.” I’m all about the hosting.

Close to a year and a half after the pandemic began, I am hosting my first potluck this morning. I’m glad this opportunity is back, and I never want to take it for granted.

– Renee Roederer

Good morning from the sun and moon. Have a great day.

A photo of the moon from Wellington Park in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Photo, Renee Roederer. Image description: The moon is emerging from clouds in a blue sky. The image is also framed by leaves and branches from trees.

Time has been strange, shifty, and surreal during this pandemic. Recent events can feel like they happened much longer ago, and long-ago memories can feel closer than they might otherwise. Likewise, time can feel as though it’s moving slowly, rapidly, or as though we’re cycling between both of these.

All of that brings me to this shocker: Today, we begin the second half of 2021.

In some ways, it’s hard for me to believe we’re already at the midpoint, and yet, when I think of our lives in say, January, that feels more than a year ago, as opposed to a mere six months ago.

All of this has me wondering what I’d like to experience in the second half of the year. Life is definitely quite different than it was in January.

What do you want from the second half?

-Renee Roederer