Smuggling Grace

–Photos by Renee Roederer

Earlier this week, I was reading a New York Times newsletter that mentioned a sideways forest in Poland. “What’s that?” I thought. I found out more on YouTube. These trees are weird! And a mystery.

And I found this video about them from 12-Years-Younger Hank Green.

I recently came upon this translated quotation from Lao Tzu, in the 17th Chapter of the Tao Te Ching:

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.”

This flies in the face of cultures where individuals tend to be competitive and leaders tend to be coercive.

The best leadership takes place through guidance and empowerment — inviting people to play to their strengths. And when those strengths are working side by side, everyone is contributing meaningfully.

This kind of leadership is less about directing and more about creating conditions where people can thrive. It cultivates confidence, shared ownership, and a sense of collective possibility. When people feel trusted and capable, they often discover capacities they didn’t know they had — and that’s when real transformation becomes possible.

—Renee Roederer

My title really says it. This year, I ducked invitations, and I’m not traveling anywhere. Things have been so busy as of late that I just really need some time to myself.

I won’t be eating turkey. I might get some Chinese food. Mostly, I’ll be streaming shows, listening to podcasts, and resting.

I bet some people will call, and when they do, I’ll answer and enjoy greeting them. But I won’t be seeing anyone, and I’m really looking forward to time curled up at the house.

Do you need some time to yourself? Maybe not for the holiday, but sometime? I’ll encourage you to take it too.

—Renee Roederer

We’re wrapping up November. In the last week or so, what if we made it NOvember?

We can reflect upon, choos3, and act upon what it means to say, “No.”

This might mean…
— saying no to tasks that aren’t best for us to do,
— saying no to what brings down our energy,
— saying no to beliefs that no longer serve us,
— saying no to narratives (external, internal, or cultural) that are painful distortions,
— saying no to injustices,
— saying no to systemic ways of doing harm,
— saying no to old patterns we no longer want,
— saying no to doing too much,
— saying no to unreasonable expectations,
— saying no to… (fill in the blank)

And I’m also going to reflect upon, choose, and act upon this realization:
When we say “no,” to some things, we are making way to say “yes” to other things.

We are making space for our best affirmations, intentions, and priorities.

Want to ponder this with me?

–Renee Roederer

Yesterday afternoon, about 60 people gathered in a graveyard, and together, they encircled the casket of their loved one. The experience was at times playful and at other times poignant. I had met this loved one a few times, and in fact, I had just seen her three weeks ago.

But I am very close to her daughter, and I was there to support her as she offered a eulogy for her Mother.

“She’s a work of art,” I thought as I listened to my friend speak. It takes such strength to write something so meaningful and to speak it aloud while surrounded by that circle. In such moments, everything means; nothing is insignificant. Everything carries meaning, and everything expresses meaning. I was impressed not only by her ability to speak her own truth and memories but also by the way she made sacred space for others to do the same, all while feeling the emotions of the present moment.

A beautiful life,
A complicated life,
We are all so beautiful and complicated.

As we stood around this circle, my friend said, “I was struck by something one of my Mom’s friends said recently. The people around my Mom’s life are a web, and what affects one affects everyone.”

Someone else then offered to sing and repeated the words, “We are woven together,” as part of a chorus.

I thought, does anything matter more than that web? The people who surround our life, and the people whose lives we surround?

Though I love it, I’ve been too focused on the details of work lately. I’m not talking about the community within that work. I mean I’ve been way too focused on to-do lists. I’ve been rushing. I’ve been stressed. My muscles are often tense.

If the work isn’t connected to that web, it’s just a stress-inducing list. But when that web is formed across all our spheres of life — family (born and chosen), friends, daily rhythms, and yes, work — then it is worth our energy.

It’s better to do our living and loving with that vision in mind.

—Renee Roederer

If you’ve been following this blog for a while — or if you know me on Facebook — you know that I’m an avid nature photographer. I make it a habit to get outside every day and take photos of whatever is growing or changing around me. Sometimes people compliment the beauty of the images, and I always laugh and say, “Well, I can’t take much credit for that. It’s just beautiful subject matter.” And that’s true.

But then they’ll add, “It’s not just that. You’ve got an eye for this.” That means a lot to me.

Recently, my Mom said the same thing — but she added something.
“You know you get this from your Dad,” she said.

I sat with that for a moment. And the more I thought about it, the more deeply it touched me. Of course I get this from him. My Dad was an amateur photographer too, especially when I was very young, and he took so many photos of nature. Somehow, I had never connected that thread myself.

I can be honest here: My relationship with my Dad was often conflicted. He died years ago, and those layers of complexity remain part of my story. But hearing my Mom say that — realizing that this way of noticing beauty, of slowing down, and paying attention through a lens is something he gave me — feels like a small bridge stretching across time.

This practice that brings me meaning, connection, and grounding, and I realize that every single day carries a strand of him in it. A redemptive one. Sometimes, when I focus and take a photo, I realize he’s part of that frame too.

Thanks, Dad.

—Renee Roederer

–Photos by Renee Roederer

Learn why we forget words.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s an article that may be affirming:
The Real Reason Why You May Get Overwhelmed

“Zeigarnik found that our brains are wired to remember unfinished tasks better than completed ones. Like a to-do list, once we finish a task, our brain checks it off to free up mental bandwidth.

“But this also means that, the more unfinished tasks we have running in the background, the more resources our brains dedicate to keeping track of them.”