Smuggling Grace

When my father died, my extended family gathered at the funeral home a couple of hours before the visitation. Though the occasion was sad, the initial energy was pragmatic, making sure everything was prepared for people to arrive soon. Then the staff gathered the family together near the television, which would soon play a video of photos for the next few hours. This was our opportunity to see the photos on the screen together for the first time, honor his life, and feel connected to one another.

As the images scrolled and music played, my family shared moments of smiling and remembering, along with feelings of grief and tenderness. We saw pictures that spanned decades—not only of him but also of us. It was a lovely remembrance.

And that’s when we arrived at the end of the video. Some final images were shown, accompanied by text that read:

And so we give thanks….

(screen change with new image)

…for the life of… Beulah.

As you might have guessed, my father was not named Beulah.

There was a pause, and the contrast between the faces of the funeral home staff and our own could not have been greater. While they stood there in horror, realizing that they had forgotten to change the name from the last person honored in that very room, we suddenly burst into laughter. They apologized profusely, thinking they had ruined our moment, but we found it so funny.

In fact, my family thought it was so funny that, when my grandmother died five years later—she who had laughed the first time—they specifically asked the funeral home staff to show us her video with the same conclusion.

And so we give thanks….

(screen change with new image)

…for the life of… Beulah.

I have no idea who Beulah is, but she has now been honored twice, in addition to her own video. In times of grief, challenge, pain, difficulty—or simply change—it’s important to feel our raw emotions. But it’s also a great gift to find moments to laugh.

— Renee Roederer

I appreciate this paragraph below from Rebecca Solnit, who is currently writing a newsletter on Substack entitled, Meditations in an Emergency. Before I share that paragraph, I want to recommend her writing generally. She doesn’t hold back in naming concerns and harms in this era, and that’s important. But at the very same time, she points to empowerment and possibility. I have more trust for a writer — and for that matter, a leader, or a fellow-human — when they can do both.

And she does both in this paragraph. I hope we will challenge ourselves wherever we fall on this continuum:

“Americans often seem to me to be complacent or despondent about the idea of radical change–complacent if they deny threats such as Trump, despondent when they deny the possibility of participating in change for the better. How change works and how civil-society organizing has succeeded again and again in this country from the abolition of slavery to immigrant rights and environmental protection is not nearly well-enough known. Mainstream narratives disempower us when they portray power as something possessed by a small elite and change as something handed down from above, and when they depict ordinary people organizing for change as foolish rabble or annoying interference.”

In 2017, I also heard Rebecca Solnit give a lecture on these themes. Here’s a post about that. I like this sentence she repeated several times: “You can never anticipate what what-you-do does.”

Sometimes, you’re busy, or you run out of things to say, or both, so you conclude, “You know what? Let’s make this a baby animal day on Smuggling Grace.”

And then you remember how wonderful it would be to hug baby goats repeatedly. Yes, let’s definitely share that. 

Different terrain this week. 🙂

— Photos by Renee Roederer

Think about a skill you’ve developed in your life, and recall when you first started taking an interest in it.

Can you remember a time when someone—a teacher, a parent, a friend, a coach, or even a stranger—said something like, “You’re good at that”?

Sure, maybe there was natural talent there. After all, they noticed it. But could it be that we started down this path because someone else saw something in us? And perhaps, at the time, we hadn’t yet recognized that we were truly “good at that”?

You might be thinking of a skill or hobby you started in childhood, but often, we discover these abilities in adults too. Have you ever considered the impact you could have by sharing your observations with others?

“Hey, you’re good at that.”

— Renee Roederer

Do you know what the curb cut effect is? It’s both a tangible concept and an analogy. When we started creating curb cuts—ramps that allow people using wheelchairs and other mobility devices to access sidewalks without the barrier of stairs—it turned out that this change helped many people who don’t use these devices. Parents pushing strollers, people riding bicycles, and kids on scooters all benefited from these small, thoughtful changes.

The core idea is simple: when we provide access for those who face the greatest barriers, we remove those obstacles for everyone. At the same time, we uplift everyone’s needs.

On the other hand, when we target and scapegoat a population of people, increasing barriers for them, it can harm many others in the process.

We’re seeing something like this in Texas v. Becerra. This lawsuit claims that Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 is unconstitutional. Why? Last year, in the preamble (the application rule, not the law itself), gender dysphoria was mentioned as a possible disability. Some people are so determined to erase the experiences and personhood of trans people that they are willing to overturn a law that has been a historic game-changer for people with disabilities. Section 504 provides accommodations for students and adults with disabilities in both education and healthcare settings.

Some people stand so firmly against trans children and adults that they’re willing to erase their needs with great disrespect, all while undermining a landmark piece of legislation that hundreds of disabled people fought for in protests, sit-ins, and an occupation of a federal building that lasted for more than 25 days. Trans people should not be maligned in this way. Disabled people should have their rights upheld.

In this era we’re living in, if we haven’t realized it yet, we’ll soon see how right Martin Luther King Jr. was when he wrote in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

Our needs, our personhood, our loves, and our communities are interconnected. We must stand up for those most scapegoated and maligned. Every person deserves this. And when we do, we lift up everyone.

— Renee Roederer

I had a dream that one of my most formative mentors had also become my realtor. She was showing me around a home that was about to be mine. I don’t remember any of the details about the house, but we walked outside into this huge courtyard. The brick walls around the perimeter had pink flowers growing at the top. Everywhere I looked there was a sense of spaciousness and abundance.

“All this is about to be mine?” I asked with amazement.

“Yes,” she said, joyfully.

In real life, many years ago, this same person once said this to me:

“You can feel small, but still be as big as the sky inside.”

I was thinking about that again. And I share this to say,

When it comes to you, don’t give up.
When it comes to purpose, don’t give up.
When it comes to meaning, don’t give up.
When it comes to a spacious world, don’t give up.

— Renee Roederer

Please read, and I invite you to act:

I want to take a moment this morning to talk about the importance of Medicaid and ask each one of you to contact your U.S. Senators and Representatives to protect this vital form of health coverage.

Recently, the House and Senate Budget Committees have passed budget resolutions that propose gigantic cuts to Medicaid. In the House, the resolution directs the House Energy and Commerce Committee, which has jurisdiction over Medicaid, to cut a minimum of $880 billion in federal spending. In the Senate, the resolution directs $1 billion in cuts. The only way to do this is by cutting Medicaid, whether through caps or cuts to federal funding or in the form of burdensome requirements.

I’m going to talk about each of these in turn:

— Medicaid protects so many of your neighbors and allows them to have the health care they need, including many children. Nearly 80 million people in this country receive Medicaid.

— Medicaid is so important to the epilepsy community I serve and to many disability communities.

— Even if you don’t have Medicaid, and you don’t know anyone using Medicaid (I feel confident you do, even if you don’t know you do) this could greatly impact your services and pocketbook too.

1) So let’s start with you, your neighbors, and the country as a whole:

Nearly 80 million people rely on Medicaid to access healthcare, including medications, doctor visits, home- and community-based resources. This includes pregnant women, low-income children and families, people with disabilities, and many seniors in nursing facilities. Many of these people need long-term care and support. They deserve to have it. They are unable to pay for it out of pocket. Health care is a human right, and they desperately need and deserve to access it.

2) Medicaid is essential to the epilepsy community, the community I serve through my work at the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan.

Medicaid is how they get their anti-seizure medications, home- and community-based services, and other vital health care services. Almost 40% of people living with active epilepsy between 18-64 years old receive coverage through Medicaid. Almost one in five children and youth have special health care needs including about 4% of children with epilepsy and seizure disorders. More than one-third of children and youth with special health care needs are covered by Medicaid.

I also want to add this: When a person is unable to work due to a disability — epilepsy or otherwise — and they enroll to receive disability benefits, they are automatically enrolled in Medicaid. Let me tell you that SSDI and SSI (i.e. disability benefits) are not a windfall. Often, they keep people at or near poverty. How are they supposed to pay their health insurance?

3) These cuts may impact you and other services in your states even if you don’t receive Medicaid.

States receive federal funds to administer Medicaid. If these gigantic cuts are passed in Congress, there are still people in states who will need health care. States would then possibly have to cut other services in their own budgets to pay for these needs. This could involve cuts to other vital forms of service.

So please make that call. Please advocate for loved ones and people who you don’t even know. Our needs are connected: When you are hurt, it hurts me. When I am hurt, it hurts you. When we build each other up and make sure we all have what we need, everyone is uplifted.

You may also share this post.

— Renee Roederer

I got out of town to visit some folks. I’ve been looking forward to this, but I don’t think I realized the level to which I needed it. As soon as I arrived, I was hit with a nauseating migraine, exhaustion, and a sore throat. No fair, right? These all passed after the first day, but this reminded me of something.

Sometimes, our bodies wait until we’re in a place of safety, connection, and comfort to feel the stress we’ve been carrying, and often, these turn into psychosomatic expressions of that very stress. I think that’s what happened to me.

So since that time, I’ve been thinking about how wonderful it is to be in presence of these people, not have our days super-scheduled, have fun, and frankly, just be. I’ve already told you that I keep myself informed by engaging the news intentionally (important) but don’t let myself be interrupted by news throughout the day (also important). I think I’m also realizing how much I’ve needed some normalcy.

This is not about putting our heads in the sand. We listen, we care, we act.

But it’s okay to take a break, too. In fact, our bodies may need that very much. So if you need one more person to give you that encouragement, feel free to hear it from me: Take the break.

— Renee Roederer