Mental Health Monday: Aliveness

A beautiful sunset, reflected also in the water. Photo: Renee Roederer

Over the last three days, I’ve zoomed around Texas on e-bikes more than 100 miles with one of my very favorite people. We’ve moved fast, seen gorgeous scenery, and felt the wind blow in our face. It’s been exhilarating, and it’s helped me feel a deep sense of presence. I’ve felt connected to my body, my surroundings, and to the relationships around me.

Last evening, while doing this, I thought, “This is the best memory I’ve made this year.” There are other honorable mentions that stand out too, but this was pretty incredible. In these moments, I’ve felt deeply alive.

We carry so many difficult problems — our own, or those around us, or those half a globe away. Likely, we feel all of these in waves, and the emotions around them are so valid. These needs, whether they are internal, interpersonal, systemic, or international, deserve our attention and solidarity. We want to care deeply for these challenges and the people within them.

I also hope that our sense of aliveness helps too, not only because it recharges us, but because it casts a vision for something else. Howard Thurman used to say, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

We do need to ask what the world needs. But within that asking, hoping, and dreaming, may our aliveness yield more aliveness. May it cast a vision for something better and give us the strength and inspiration to put it into action.

Renee Roederer

Eclipse: Headed into… Clouds

Total Eclipse of the Sun, Public Domain

Well, I’m hoping for a weather miracle (that is, other than the incredible astronomical miracle already scheduled) because it appears that my eclipse experience is going to be… eclipsed. Clouds are in the forecast.

I’m getting on a plane to Texas to see this wild phenomenon, but unless there’s a change, I won’t see the solar eclipse at all. I thought Texas would have better odds of clear skies, but alas, better odds are not perfect odds.

But let me be an advocate: If YOU have any ability to go see the solar eclipse on Monday, and especially, if you can get to the path of totality, I am telling you, the experience will be equal parts super and surreal. It is unlike anything else, and I cannot recommend it enough.

In 2017, I saw the total eclipse of the sun in a library parking lot in Russellville, Kentucky. It had such a meaningful impression on me that soon after, I got an eclipse tattoo. (Side note: I’ve really been looking forward to being matchy-matchy with this one this year). After that first experience, I knew I was definitely going to make plans for the one in 2024. I did, and… I might not luck out this time.

But if you can, I hope you will. You won’t regret it.

Renee Roederer

Practice Resurrection

Sequoia Trees, Bureau of Land Management, Public Domain

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation, by Wendell Berry

…So, friends, every day do something

that won’t compute. Love the Lord.

Love the world. Work for nothing.

Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it…

Give your approval to all you cannot

understand…

Ask the questions that have no answers. 

…Plant sequoias.

Say that your main crop is the forest

that you did not plant,

that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested

when they have rotted into the mold.

Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus

that will build under the trees

every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear

close, and hear the faint chattering

of the songs that are to come.

Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

though you have considered all the facts.

Go with your love to the fields.

Lie easy in the shade. Rest your head

in her lap. 

… Be like the fox

who makes more tracks than necessary,

some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.

Social Referencing

Mom and child look at one another. Public domain image.

I recently got to watch a very cute baby animal enjoy life for a while. This little being was indeed, very baby, and indeed, very cute.

I noticed that just like a toddler, this baby would hide near Mom (sometimes, under Mom). Then he would explore for a while, only to return and check in. This happened consistently.

Explore, return, feel safe,
Explore, return, feel safe.

There’s a developmental term for when humans do this. When babies or toddlers try new things, then look at caregivers for assurance that an action is safe, this is called social referencing. And though it happens in a particular way at a developmental stage of life, I’m not sure we ever lose this entirely. We also like to try new things, return, and take refuge in one another. Throughout our lives, we love to feel ourselves seen and known in the loving care and gaze of one another.

Which people, communities, and homes provide this for you?

Renee Roederer

Mental Health Monday: What Is C-PTSD?

These slides come from Dr. Nicole LePera, known on social media as The Holistic Psychologist (@the.holistic.psychologist).

Text: Memory issues, being spaced out, + detached from life can be symptoms of C-PTSD. You’re not crazy. And it’s not in your head. Understand C-PTSD:

Text: Unlike a single traumatic event, Complex-PTSD refers to events that took place over and over again in our developmental years.

Text: Examples: Unpredictable or chaotic environments, Financial insecurity, Harsh punishment, Witness to dysfunctional or violent relationships, Parentification (child becomes parent), Emotional neglect (CEN)

Text: Complex trauma activates our internal threat mode.

Text: Threat mode makes us: Hypervigilant: aware of every change in mood, facial expression, and behavior. Highly anxious. Dissociated: spaced out, shut down, numb, frozen (freeze state), depressed.

Text: Symptoms of C-PTSD: Issues with self regulation: low frustration tolerance, easily dysregulated, High anxiety, Emotional flashbacks: high reactivity, “over reactions,” Spaced out and forgetful: misplace things, lose track of time, dissociated (post traumatic shock)

Text: Feelings of being broken, flawed, or unacceptable, Mood swings (poor vagal tone), Tough inner critic, Memory issues

Text: C-PTSD develops from lack of autonomy and an overall feeling of helplessness.

Text: Keys for Healing: Practicing boundaries, Saying no, Asking for needs to be met, Practicing the Pause, Showing up for Self