I’m Writing a Book

I’m writing a book, and this feels important to me. It’s about a spirituality of kinship — What does it mean to choose one another? What does it mean to widen our sense of connection and belonging? What does it mean to shift our understandings of family so that they are not limited, filled with barriers, or exclusive, but instead, wildly expansive?

I love these questions. They’ve been sitting with me and shaping me for a long time.

And since it’s what has formed most closely, I’m exploring this book through the lens of some of the teachings, symbols, spirituality, meaning-making of Jesus. But I hope to cast a wide vision (I mean, that’s what the book is about!) so that people feel they can explore the themes of kinship through the teachings, symbols, spirituality, and meaning-making of their own lives — above all, reflecting on the relationships we have with great gratitude and appreciation.

At the moment, I’m between two different subtitles, but the one-word main title (before the colon-to-be) is

Beheld

This book begins with a narrative that’s important to me, one of seeing and being seen, perceiving, and marveling in the presence of each other, and it expands from there — Beheld.

I finished the first chapter of this book last weekend, but I want you to know I’ve had an outline and have been writing this book in my head and heart for seven years. It’s time to get it on paper (or screen) because above all, this feels like a need-to-write love letter to everyone I’ve ever loved. Whether mentioned directly or not, you need to know that this book is peopled from beginning to end.

And then I’ll add one more addendum here because it’s important for this moment we’re living: I don’t need someone to be a Christian, either by belief or background, to read this book or be in conversation with it. This is about all of our relationships. But I must also add, when I see so many people weaponizing these symbols that are beloved to me to harm others, I want to articulate something in the opposite direction. I hope this book offers an experience of feeling embraced.

The book weaves together spiritual reflection and personal life stories. Mostly, it’s prose, but there are some poems too. And since we’re talking about an expansive vision of belonging, here’s a poem from chapter one.

The Universe

Sometimes, I marvel at who is in my life.
Sometimes, I am stunned to ponder that I could begin alone
then
become
connected
to
who after
who after
who after
who.

And this never ends.

It’s like a Big Bang, really.
A Whole Universe of Belonging.

We each start as a singularity.
Then
each one of us
bursts forth,
brought into an abundance of connections,
born anew bit by bit
through the particularities of relationship.

And these particularities
create
build
form
nurture
cultivate
and
renew.

They expand.

This is an ever expanding Universe —
this Cosmos
of
who after
who after
who after
who.

— Renee Roederer

While it’s certainly not limited to these, I want to give some shout outs to communities that are absolutely central to the creation of this book:

— This book bursts forth (to quote my poem above) from my experience of being raised in and by St. John Presbyterian Church in New Albany, Indiana, where a big circle of people chose to interact with me and love me as if I were their own daughter. I have been building and shaping a big, beautiful chosen family ever since (more on that in a moment). This book would not exist without who you have been in my life.

— This book begins with a vision and metaphor (and is, in fact, named after) a powerful experience I had at University Presbyterian Church in Austin, Texas. I can hardly believe how many pivotal people came into my life through my connection to this church community. And for UPCers reading along, the very first words of chapter one begin with a question our beloved Bobbie Sanders once asked me: “Did you ever have a thought you didn’t think?” (Referring to many experiences of intuition.)

— The whole outline of this book exists because of an 11-part sermon series I was invited to lead at Northside Presbyterian in Ann Arbor, Michigan, during the summer of 2018. This book wouldn’t exist without you. Thank you. 💜 I’ve been dreaming this up ever since.

— Throughout these pages, I am deeply influenced by the Disability Communities and Queer Communities I am connected to and a part of. Their visions of interdependence and connection have transformed my lifeand continue to change me all the time.

— I have been privileged to build and be built into an incredible chosen family network that has expanded over time. There are so many individuals who are profoundly close to me—people who are parents, siblings, children, and relationships that need no label because they transcend them—with no biological ties at all. Just choice after choice after choice.

They are written all through the pages of this book, whether named or not.

And this is a love letter to them.