David Scott Smith is one of my favorite essayists. For twenty-five years, every Monday morning, he’s sent out weekly essays, starting in the 90s with a growing personal listserv, and in more recent years, on his website. These essays are called Monday Moanin’. He’s also the author of Hope This Finds You: Letters from a Friend, which includes some personal favorites among these essays. He is wise, deep, and a humorist. Some essays are reflective, while others make me laugh aloud. Some blend both experiences. I’d encourage you to check out his writing.
Many years ago, in one of his Monday Moanin’ essays, he described parenting as “building the plane while it’s taking off.” I think that’s a fitting image that likely resonates with most people. He also shared that if we listen deeply and pay attention, our children will teach us how to parent them. Of course, there are basic tasks we must take care of—changing diapers, feeding them, bathing them, and providing them with an education. But each child is different; they each need unique forms of encouragement and guidance from us. If we pay attention, they will shape the experience as much as we do.
But this idea doesn’t only apply to parenting. Perhaps less dramatically, aren’t most relationships an opportunity to “build the plane while it’s taking off”? And in the same way, if we listen deeply and pay attention, our friends, family, neighbors, and even so-called strangers will teach us how to care for them. In the midst of this, there are values and commitments we’ll want to uphold consistently. But each person is different; they need unique forms of encouragement and care from us, and we from them. If we pay attention, our loved ones will shape the experience as much as we do.
— Renee Roederer
Also, for fun, I also asked ChatGPT to create three images of “building the plane while it’s taking off,” each one more ridiculous than the last. They didn’t disappoint.
Smuggling Grace 