Gushing

I opened the envelope with some trepidation, but soon discovered good news: I had passed all four of my ordination exams.

These exams involved a great deal of studying, along with long hours actually taking the tests. This was one of the last major milestones before I could seek an ordained position within the Presbyterian Church (USA). I was relieved and elated.

There were several people I wanted to tell, but the person I most wanted to call was David.

He had been my pastor growing up, and in my young adult years, I had been welcomed deeply into the life of his family as a chosen family member. He had also been steadfast in encouraging me as I moved toward ministry. I left him a voicemail sharing the good news.

Between that message and the call I received later, I was able to tell several close friends. I felt like a door was opening.

But then, a few hours later, I got the best call. David absolutely gushed with pride for me.

Of course, he was happy about the accomplishment and all that it represented. But what I remember from that day is much more than his words. I remember more than him saying he was proud of me.

I remember how over the top it was. And yet it was completely genuine.

Even then, I knew what a deliberate choice that was. David was aware of a lot of what I was carrying at that point in my life. Decades later, things are very different and have resolved beautifully, but at that time, there were significant tensions in my family. Eventually, I would even keep my own ordination service secret so that it would not be disrupted by those conflicts.

What I remember most is that David wanted to make absolutely sure that I knew someone loved me deeply, believed in me, and was proud of me.

Not long ago, I found myself thinking about that call again. It’s that deliberate choice that stays with me. It’s a choice to let people know that they matter. It’s a choice to celebrate them generously. It’s a choice to tell them that you value who they are and what they bring to the world.

It reminds me that whenever I can, I want to do it, too.

—Renee Roederer