Image Description: Three gray-brown rocks are stacked upon each other, each smaller than the one beneath it. The rocks are on top of sand, and the sand has tracings with concentric circles as if there is a ripple effect from the rocks.
To the Person That Harms, To the Family That Wounds, To the Shame That Devours, To the Violence That Festers,
To the Grief That Upends, To the Diagnosis that Stuns, To the Substance That Hooks, To the System That Discriminates,
You,
Yes, You,
Any of You, or All of You, or More Than You (That Which Stays Silent or That Which Exists Beyond Lists)
You.
You have never been a gift in disguise — not tied with a bow or packaged with grand, silver linings.
But here’s one thing you’ve yet to figure out:
The more you knock us off balance — The more you pummel, The more you trounce, The more you disrupt and delight in the off-kilter,
The more we come to know what our balance is.
And that balance, when we know it, when we can name it, when we can internalize it, is Strength Beyond Strength.
That Balance is Our Sacred Invitation. That Balance is Our Secret Intervention.
Image Description: A group of lambs. Some are eating grass. Some are looking around. Public domain image.
If you’re feeling stressed in any way, I just want you to know about this thing that happens. I want you to imagine it and smile.
I have a friend who lives on a farm where they raise sheep. And every night before sunset, all of this year’s lambs, who are now functionally tweens, get together in a little tweeny bopper gang and run around the farm en masse. It’s a thing they do.
As they near dusk, they just get the urge to be with their peers and exert their energy in a collective romp around all the grounds of the farm. A little gang. Of tweeny bopper sheep. Running around together. In the joy of adolescence.
I just want you to know about these tweeny bopper sheep. I want you to know that this happens every day.
Two friends sit together and view a lake and mountain. Public domain image. Photo Credit: Roberto Nickson.
I was listening to a friend tell me a number of stories when all the sudden, she switched her language into present tense. I’m going to guess that she wasn’t even aware of this, but it drew me in all the more. I thought, “Oh, she wants me even more alongside her right here,” and through that shift in her language, I was.
I was grateful to be invited.
This experience made me want to pay attention for these kinds of moments — these sudden shifts into present tense, particularly while someone is sharing a story that happened in the past.
This is one of the myriad of ways that we can accompany each other. A story, whether funny, meaningful, tragic, or traumatic, slows down, and in the present tense, our hearer is with us. And in a very real way, this presence and this invitation to witness the story, changes the story. It expands it. It can reframe it or even transform it.
In my life and in my work, I’m going to be listening for this. And in my own telling of stories, I may choose to employ it myself.
A person looks at the night sky, filled with stars.
Sometimes, I marvel at who is in my life. Sometimes, I am stunned to ponder that I could begin alone then become connected to who after who after who after who.
And this never ends.
It’s like a Big Bang, really. A Whole Universe of Belonging.
We each start as a singularity. Then each one of us bursts forth, brought into an abundance of connections, born anew bit by bit through the particularities of relationship.
And these particularities create build form nurture cultivate and renew.
They expand.
This is an ever expanding Universe — this Cosmos of who after who after who after who.
Over the weekend, the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan, the organization I work for, held our Midland Stroll for Epilepsy. For me, it’s a real joy any time I get to meet people I’ve talked to over the phone. I can place a face with a name. That happened several times at the event.
1 in 26 people will be diagnosed with epilepsy at some point in their lifetimes. That means a lot of people are impacted by epilepsy. Whether you live in Michigan or another state entirely, I’d love to connect any of your loved ones — you, your family members, or members of your community — to their local Epilepsy Foundation affiliate. Any time we can know others and be a part of a community, it changes this experience. Let me know if you or your loved ones need connection with a local office.
Image Description: The text, “Time for change” is written in white chalk on a blackboard.
I appreciate the perspectives of David LaMotte, songwriter, musician, and author of Worldchanging 101: Challenging the Myth of Powerlessness. He reminds us that we are not always able to fix the many challenges of the world, but we are enabled to change them. Change is the powerful and empowering paradigm.
In my work, I am at times presented with challenges I don’t know how to fix. In those moments, I don’t have the personal knowledge, experiences, or access to necessary resources. In such situations, I have two primary strategies. They sound simplistic, but they are powerful and empowering too:
1) Care and 2) Connect.
Care We participate in changing situations when we care for the people experiencing them. There are times when people are bolstered by being heard, seen, understood, and loved.
We’ve likely heard about the placebo effect when it comes to medications. But this can be applied to caring presence as well. Studies have revealed that cancer patients do better on their treatment regimen when a doctor walks in to tell them that the treatment is beginning. In such moments, the doctor shares nothing overtly medical. They only offer their presence in connection to the treatment. When patients connect their treatment to a symbol and presence of care, the treatment is more effective.
When we add our presence and care to the people around us, we change difficult situations.
Connect As I shared above, there are times when we don’t have the personal knowledge, experiences, or access to necessary resources. In these moments, I think, “Get this person to people.” Sometimes, this involves a referral to a trusted source who will have that knowledge, experience, or access to necessary resources. But sometimes, we can’t think of anyone, and this is a general strategy to “get this person to community.”
The community often has the personal knowledge, experience, and access to resources. These are all held in the collective, and while you can’t always anticipate the precise relationships from which they will emerge, so often, they do come specifically from the community. This is something I trust because I watch it happen repeatedly. Every single week, I witness this.
We can change things. When in doubt, 1) Care and 2) Connect.
Image Description: A tree has two primary branches that split off from one another. The branch on the right side has many leaves, and the branch on the left side is totally bare.
While taking a walk, this tree grabbed my attention. It’s a Parable Tree, and it can symbolize any message we each need to ponder.
I walked among the congregation and called upon anyone who raised their hand. They were sharing joys and concerns with one another before we had a time of prayer. Folks shared about their neighbors and friends who were recovering from medical needs. Then a kind man raised his hand, and I walked over to him next.
“I’m glad you’re here!” he said.
I smiled and thanked him. I thanked all of them. “You always welcome me so warmly,” I added. I am a guest preacher for their congregation from time to time.
And that had me thinking back to something a colleague of mine once said. Rev. Denise Anderson said this (I’m paraphrasing from what I remember):
“There’s a big difference between saying, ‘You can come,’ and ‘You’re invited.'”
One is much more welcoming. In this community, I always feel the second. And I’m glad for any occasion when we can give from this message and receive from this message.
Smuggling Grace 