Last summer, I had the privilege to attend the second in a series of webinars of the Virtual Summer Camp from Crip Camp. If you haven’t seen the new film Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution on Netflix, I highly recommend it. Did you know that a large number of the central leaders who fought for the formation of the signature Americans With Disabilities Act legislation met each other at a summer camp? I did not know that. Their years in relationship and community empowered them in transformative ways as they built a disability culture of inclusion. Their work has created substantive changes in the lives of disabled people.
The webinar I watched last summer was about shifting internalized ableism. I offer some of the insights in this post today, because ableism has been internalized inside all of us. Most significantly, it has devastating impacts upon disabled people. But whether you have a disability or not, you have likely internalized some of these messages. I hope it is freeing to you to question these internalized messages.
I’ll share some of those in a moment, but first, let’s talk about ableism. Internalized ableism exists because of a culture of externalized ableism. TL Lewis offers a powerful definition of ableism:
[Image of a black square with white writing in it that says: ABLEISM a·ble·ism \ ˈābə-ˌli-zəm \ noun A system that places value on people’s bodies and minds based on societally constructed ideas of normalcy, intelligence and excellence. These constructed ideas of normalcy, intelligence and excellence are deeply rooted in anti-Blackness, eugenics and capitalism. This form of systemic oppression leads to people and society determining who is valuable or worthy based on people’s appearance and/or their ability to satisfactorily produce, excel & “behave.” Importantly, you do not have to be disabled to experience ableism. a working definition by Talila “TL” Lewis]
We see here that in many ways, ableism and racism are linked, as are other forms of oppression.
Here are some messages of internalized ableism, offered by the leaders of that Crip Camp webinar. How might we feel if we shift these inside ourselves? How might we feel if we help dismantle the relational and systematic impacts of these messages?
Some messages of Internalized Ableism:
1) I feel like I need to work to be worthwhile.
2) I am a “burden” due to my needs.
3) I can “cure” my illness or disability by trying hard enough/eating a specific diet/working out.
4) I need to make other people feel comfortable with my disabilities by being extra nice/funny/accommodating.
5) I should not ask my household members to take precautions in pandemic, even though I am at risk and feel frightened.
6) Sometimes I feel like my life is less valued than able-bodied or able-minded people.
Questions for reflection
— Do any of these resonate? What else might you add?
— How can we love our body-minds precisely as they are? How can we shift messages of internalized ableism into messages of greater hope and empowerment?
— How do these messages impact our wider communities? How do they do harm to disabled people, Black people, Indigenous people, people of color, people who are LGBTQIA+, and others?
— How can intersectional movements uproot oppression in powerful ways?
Image Description: Silhouettes of people walking along a beach while the sun rises ahead in the distance.
On Pentecost morning, I walked toward a red, fiery sun. There she was, right on time: 5:57am. Not a moment sooner or later.
Precise and Dependable.
Astonishing and thoroughly Surprising.
Each day, she lifts herself upward, responsible and resplendent, constant and confounding, the same daily disclosure of a marvelous miracle.
Each appearance new and particular, Each arrival common and original, she with us, on our plane – the horizon of our wonder.
Here is a story both old and new:
Before he died, one of my most Beloved People spoke this saying to me all the time:
“Now remember well, and bear in mind, that a jaybird’s tail sticks out behind.”
If I looked confused, he would say,
“There are some things you can always count on.”
Amidst the torrents of trauma, Alongside the presence of pain, exist Beauty and Relationships and Sacred Love that can be trusted. that can be expected.
We watch them rise. Even daily, we marvel with them.
Right on time, they are Sacred Flame, they are Holy Tongues, they are Mighty Words, they are Spirit Breath.
They are Pentecost – at once completely mundane, completely miraculous.
This image is by France Corbel and can be found in a number of places. Image description: There is a light pink background, and in the center, there is a coffee carafe filled about 2/3 with coffee. The words, “Your worth is not measured by your productivity,” are written both above and within the carafe of coffee.
We can become so task-oriented that we neglect being relationship-oriented.
We can become so busy with work that we neglect time for care, tending, and growing.
We can become so convinced our worth is wrapped up in productivity that we (temporarily) forget our worth is intrinsic to who we are and unmeasurable.
Our worth is not measured by our productivity.
That has simply never been the case. But we’ve internalized this somewhere.
Somewheres…?
capitalism, the Protestant work ethic, ableism, scarcity-thinking, urgency-thinking, greed, school culture, family culture, workplace culture, any kind of competition culture.
But I’m convinced of this: When we seek — however imperfectly — to ground ourselves in the truth of our own intrinsic worth, and when we seek to view our neighbors in the same ways, we make space for people to do the same. After all, aren’t so many of us longing to hear this? That our lives were never meant solely for productivity or measured by productivity? That there is much more to who we are? And that who we are matters in and of itself?
Image Description: A person is standing at the edge of the ocean and looking outward. This person’s back is to the viewer. There are mountains in the background. Public Domain Image.
Wealth is not synonymous with worth.
Likewise,
Productivity is not synonymous with worth.
Productivity has never been the full measure of our lives, nor what it means to be human. But I think it’s quite possible to internalize the opposite.
Our culture conveys that productivity is the highest good, yet if we chase after it — I don’t merely mean working well in a meaningful way, but if we chase after it– we are rarely satisfied.
When it becomes the totality of our time or our self-understanding, we soon find that it is chasing us. In this mindset, no matter how much time we put into our labor, it is never enough.
It’s easy to internalize cultural beliefs around productivity. Yet truly, productivity is not synonymous with worth.
We do not need to reach a certain benchmark to be worthy of love, care, and belonging. We do not need an enormous salary to convey that we matter.
Yet as human beings, we need wholeness and fullness. Sometimes, this means that we need different experiences — rest, renewal, rejuvenation. Sometimes, this means that we need different parts of our brain to be active — the creative, the playful, the intuitive. These add to our own lives, and they also add to our communities.
My very good friend Amanda sewed this labyrinth for me on the occasion of my ordination. It’s relaxing and fun to trace your finger toward the center.
Sometimes, we have to do the tasks we don’t particularly enjoy doing.
and
Sometimes we have to be present to aspects of life that are difficult or unjust, particularly in community.
Both of these, though very different, take certain forms of resolve and commitment. They take resolve and commitment to be present, and they take resolve and commitment to participate in moving the larger picture toward creativity, restoration, wholeness, and vitality.
To do this, it’s helpful to keep a sense of purpose at the core of our reflection and action.
And what gives us joy?
How do we bring it to the center… of our thinking? of our acting?
It’s helpful to keep these at the center, so that when we come to the moments of
… needing to do the tasks we don’t particularly enjoy doing, and
… needing to be present to aspects of life that are difficult or unjust, particularly in community,
we are energized for them — or at least, energized enough — because we are connected to the center of what gives us joy. We are connected to the larger picture and the why-we’re-doing-this of it all.
These give me joy:
-Hearing stories from students and young adults — large stories of formation and calling, and tiny, silly, wonderful stories from the daily-ness of life,
-Cultivating spaces where people feel a sense of belonging through connection, relationship, community, place, safety, a sense of return, and a sense of investing oneself,
-Connecting people to people in a myriad of ways — (have you met this person? do you know this group?) working on shared ideas, endeavors, and belonging in community groups; helping people feel connected to a larger sense of being rooted and related to one another (sometimes with wonderful surprise) thinking expansively about care and connecting people toward care of one another (also sometimes with wonderful surprise; belonging is healing and life-giving)
Image Description: A bee collecting nectar from a pink flower.
Bees bumble from flower to flower, using the navigation of bright colors to bring them to life-giving nectar. They collect it and covert it to honey to care for their young, and by extension, the whole hive.
But they have no idea they are pollinating the world’s food supply.
It helps me to remember that. The lives of bees are already so intricate and complex even in what they do intend, but beyond that, their work yields more life and complexity than they know.
Maybe this can remind us:
Individually, and especially collectively, our best intentions, our best connections, our best work, our best loves, and our best visions may yield more life and complexity than we know too.
Image Description:A spread of foods at a potluck. Public domain.
At the beginning of the month, I reached the two-week period after my second vaccination, and after a very long wait, I jumped back in to do certain things I haven’t done in more than a year. In fact, I just returned to Michigan after visiting loved ones out of state, and that trip felt glorious.
I loved so many aspects of that time, but perhaps I was most grateful for the occasion to have shared meals with people I’ve missed for a very long time. Now that I’m back home, I’m going to continue making an intentional effort to keep that going. There is something so special in sharing meals with people you love. It is at once, simple and sacred. I’m grateful for the connections, community, and kinship.
I never want to take this for granted again. And I’m all in for more!
Image Description: A purple mask with black straps lies on a brown table in a restaurant with brown chairs in the background.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I feel a bit ambivalent about the new CDC guidelines — that fully vaccinated people can go without masks in indoor spaces, including highly populated ones. On one hand, that feels exciting. On the other hand, it becomes very difficult to make community decisions. It remains important to protect the health of one another.
Celebrations:
— To begin, it makes me excited to get to this point. The science is showing us that fully vaccinated people are unlikely to contract COVID, and especially not with dangerous outcomes, and the science is showing is that fully vaccinated people are unlikely to spread it to others (we didn’t know at whether this would be true at first. I’m glad the data is showing this).
I also hope this will incentivize vaccination for those who can receive it.
Concerns:
— These new guidelines are based on the data about fully vaccinated people. The CDC guidelines say that unvaccinated people still need to protect themselves with masking and social distancing. I’m nervous that we seem to be going on an honor system here. We know that a lot of unvaccinated people are going to go mask-less, something that’s not only dangerous to them but others who have health conditions that make them vulnerable. This is additionally true for children who cannot yet be vaccinated.
I’m also concerned that this passes on the decision making for masking guidelines and in-person gatherings to communities and businesses rather than federal stakeholders. Do leaders of houses of worship want to be pressured to make decisions that could turn their congregations into super-spreaders? Do community event holders want that responsibility? Restaurant managers? Grocery store managers?
Some places may still have high COVID transmission numbers and low vaccination rates. This isn’t uniform. It would be very helpful to have some advice concerning benchmarks to make these decisions.
Smuggling Grace 