The Courage to See What Is Kept Out of View

The cover of, “Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption”

It takes courage to see what is purposefully held out of view.

In addition to making targets out of particular human beings, abusive, unjust systems have ways of keeping that harm out of view. Very often, the broader community is kept from knowing that harm, either because it is held in secret, or because it is removed quite purposefully from the rhythms of their daily lives.

A few years ago, I had an opportunity to hear Bryan Stevenson speak. He’s the author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption. His book is difficult, powerful, beautiful, and challenging at once. As I read this, I recognize how much I am not seeing. And I know I do not look often enough or advocate enough.

I would like to share some quotes from this book today. These are found on pages 15-16:

“When I first went to death row in December 1983, America was in the early stages of a radical transformation that would turn us into an unprecedentedly harsh and punitive nation and result in mass imprisonment that has no historical parallel. Today we have the highest rate of incarceration in the world. The prison population has increased from 300,000 people in the early 1970s to 2.3 million people today. There are nearly six million people on probation or on parole. One in every fifteen people born in the United States in 2001 is expected to go to jail or prison; one in every three black male babies born in this century is expected to be incarcerated.”

“Some states have no minimum age for prosecuting children as adults; we’ve sent a quarter million kids to adult jails and prisons to serve long prison terms, some under the age of twelve. For years, we’ve been the only country in the world that condemns children to life imprisonment without parole; nearly three thousand juveniles have been sentenced to die in prison.”

“We have declared a costly war on people with substance abuse problems. There are more than a half-million people in state or federal prisons for drug offenses today, up from just 41,000 in 1980.”

“Finally, we spend lots of money. Spending on jails and prisons by state and federal governments has risen from $6.9 billion in 1980 to nearly $80 billion today. Private prison builders and prison service companies have spent millions of dollars to persuade state and local governments to create new crimes, impose harsher sentences, and keep more people locked up so that they can earn more profits. Private profit has corrupted incentives to improve public safety, reduce the costs of mass incarceration, and most significantly, promote rehabilitation of the incarcerated. State governments have been forced to shift funds from public services, education, health, and welfare to pay for incarceration, and they now face unprecedented economic crises as a result. The privatization of prison health care, prison commerce, and a range of services has made mass incarceration a money-making windfall for a few and a costly nightmare for the rest of us.”

Of course, we can say that it takes courage to see what is purposefully held out of view, but the greatest courage is found among those who are directly impacted and those who are pushing for criminal justice reform.

What is being kept from view among us? Can we see it? Can we see the human beings impacted by it? Can we welcome this vulnerability? Can we make ourselves vulnerable to change?

Renee Roederer

My Little, White Elephant

A white, ceramic elephant. Found here.

When I was 9, I heard about a white elephant gift exchange for the first time. My friend’s Mom was having one. I no longer believed in Santa, but for about two weeks of my life, I sincerely believed my friend was about to receive a small, white elephant as a pet.

And because I was over there all the time, was about to receive a small, white elephant as a pet.

I was so very excited. And sadly… disappointed.

I still enjoy white elephant gift exchanges, but this one had the cutest expectations.

Renee Roederer

Welcome to the Party

A nativity scene around candles.

Once a month, I have the privilege of leading a spiritual reflection service with a community called Parables in Chelsea, Michigan. This service is planned with, for, and by disabled and neurodivergent community members.

While present on Sunday, I was so pleased to look over and spot this mantra ray who entered the nativity scene.

Sometimes the sweetest joys are found in the details.

Renee Roederer

The 9 Year Window When I Didn’t Believe in Reindeer

Four very real reindeer are eating grass.
Public domain image.

This is one of my favorite questions to ask people:

What is something you learned incorrectly as a child but only realized well into your adulthood?

This is a fantastic question! It leads to stories that are very dear and often, quite hilarious. Some people talk about words they mispronounced for decades, only revealed, of course, when they blurted them aloud in a group setting. Others talk about illogical beliefs they internalized as kids which emerged unexpectedly in their minds years later (or were also voiced aloud!) These come as a total surprise because people hadn’t even thought about the topic, let alone questioned their young belief, until that very moment.

This American Life has an entire episode of stories like these. My favorite involves a moment when a college student approached other college students at a campus party and asked the question, “So… are unicorns just really rare, or did they go extinct?”

Hysterical. Totally embarrassing. But also so dear. I love it!

With all of this in mind, I will now admit that I have an embarrassment of riches of stories like these from my own life. And I will share one of them today.

My favorite personal story of this kind involves the nine year window when I didn’t believe in reindeer.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now I hope this doesn’t come as a total surprise or crush anyone’s dreams, but when I was eight years old, I learned the sad truth that Santa wasn’t real. (Are you okay? I hope so). In the moment of this revelation, I was pretty of devastated. I was also deeply concerned that I wouldn’t get presents anymore.

So in the midst of my sadness, I resigned myself to reality. So much so, in fact, that I just kind of… over-steered. I just assumed… that… reindeer weren’t real either.

I mean, come on… They fly! Flying reindeer? No way.

At least there was some sort of evidence of Santa’s existence. Gifts showed up annually, so there was something tangible to associate with him. Plus, I saw him in all the malls!

But once I knew the sad truth, how could I possibly believe in flying, antlered caribou? Reindeer quickly went the way of the unicorn. (Ahem… not extinct. Non-existent).

That is, until… I was 17 years old. That is, until… I was flipping through the channels and saw a nature documentary on my television set.

A British accented, David Attenbourough wannabe voiced commentary as creatures walked around in the snow, plunging their faces into the frigid stuff, attempting to nibble on frozen grasses. “The reindeer are in the tundra,” the David Attenbourough wannabe said in all his formal tones.

And I started laughing. Laughing! “The reindeer! In the tundra! Yeah…”

But then, my laughing stopped abruptly, and my mouth gaped open. As I sat alone in the living room of my childhood home, in my last year before legal adulthood, a recognition completely washed over me. It dawned on me — at age 17 — that reindeer are REAL.

I had indeed over-steered. The reindeer had been in the tundra this whole time.

This whole time.

Renee Roederer

Safe Bodies, Transformed Minds

“So it’s very important to be very aware that these reactions emanate from your body, and so the big challenge of treating trauma is, how do you help people to live in bodies that feel fundamentally safe?”
— Bessel van der Kolk

In this video, Bessel van der Kolk discusses
1) Psychotherapy
2) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
3) Yoga
4) Theatre & Movement
5) Neurofeedback
6) Psychedelics

“Part of what has kept me so busy all these years is, how can we find a treatment that allows the basic sense of defectiveness and self-loathing to be controlled, and now it looks like we have found something that has found a very substantial drop in PTSD… But what is important here is that one size doesn’t fit all. Different people need very different things. What worked for my last patient may very well not work for you. Everything is an experiment in life, and healing from trauma is an experiment.”
— Bessel van der Kolk