Smuggling Grace

Over the weekend, I had an occasion to have an exhibitor table for the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan, and our table was positioned next to a man representing an organization that promotes and celebrates organ donation. As I got to know him, he shared a few powerful stories with me.

He is the recipient of a heart transplant, and he met his wife, who is also an organ recipient, through their shared community. He told me that his wife had a chance to meet the family of her donor, and while there is certainly grief in the loss of a father and husband, there is also a strong bond and relationship between this family and his wife, who received one of this man’s organs. And this really moved me:

She was able to walk the daughter of this donor down the aisle at her wedding.

What an incredibly powerful connection, and in the midst of deep loss, there was a living connection in relationship. The life of this organ recipient was present at a wedding to share love with a beloved daughter.

And this has me thinking about how life continues to find us sometimes, even if we’ve endured loss or great change. There is no silver lining in this, of course. But there is an accompanied goodness. Memories emerge and fill us. Relationships find us anew. Possibilities continue to unfold.

And this is always a surprise. It never negates the loss. Never. But it accompanies it. It walks us down the aisle, so to speak. And when these moments emerge, there is gratitude.

— Renee Roederer

From time to time, we may need a reminder like this. As this image shares,

Your feelings with fluctuate

Your well being will fluctuate

Your performance will fluctuate

Your worth will not

This is true. There is nothing that any external forces, internal beliefs, relational conflicts, complex emotions, personal expectations, or failures can do — nothing — to diminish the worth of ourselves or our fellow human beings. So if that’s true, how will we view ourselves today? And how will we view those around us?

— Renee Roederer

— Photos by Renee Roederer

Making a Fist by Naomi Shihab

For the first time, on the road north of Tampico,
I felt the life sliding out of me,
a drum in the desert, harder and harder to hear.
I was seven, I lay in the car
watching palm trees swirl a sickening pattern past the glass.
My stomach was a melon split wide inside my skin.

“How do you know if you are going to die?”
I begged my mother.
We had been traveling for days.
With strange confidence she answered,
“When you can no longer make a fist.”

Years later I smile to think of that journey,
the borders we must cross separately,
stamped with our unanswerable woes.
I who did not die, who am still living,
still lying in the backseat behind all my questions,
clenching and opening one small hand

I was interviewing an educational leader about ways to advocate for children in the classroom. While chatting about best practices for communication with teachers and administrators, she said,

“I always tell people, ‘Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.'”

I immediately thought, “Oh, I’m keeping that!” Only a few days after that interview, I’ve already had two different occasions to share that phrase and give her credit.

Has someone said something helpful that you’ve brought into your vocabulary?

— Renee Roederer

I was wearing a dress (On Brand) on a summer day. In fact, it’s my favorite one. Additionally, I was riding my bike around town (On Brand) enjoying the weather and the scenery. I pulled off onto the sidewalk so I could take a picture of a gorgeous flower (On Brand).

When I got up to go, the wrap-around-tie of my dress became untied, and once I began to pedal, it became caught in the chain of the bike. I stopped, literally tied to my bike. And then I spent some time trying to untangle this tie, and myself, from my own bike. It felt equal parts silly and frustrating, because I was having no luck with this task.

A person was walking down the street, and I asked if he could help me. A bit embarrassing, but I had a feeling he would be willing, and I thought it might be fun to give us both a story (On Brand). It took us a while but then together, it worked!

Once I was riding down the street again, I found myself thinking about how lovely it is to have help and a sense of neighborliness (On Brand) and I thought I would blog about it (On Brand).

So I did. 🙂

Has anything very On Brand happened to you lately?

— Renee Roederer

We will have many ups, downs, winding roads, and surprises during this election season. This may come in handy.

— Photos by Renee Roederer