Smuggling Grace

Have you ever heard the term “Window of Tolerance?”

When we face high stress and trauma in our personal lives or collective trauma in our public lives, the window by which we can regulate our nervous systems grows smaller. In such moments, people react more frequently to stress with

fight or flight (< — hyperarousal) responses, or
freeze or fawn (<— hypoarousal) responses.

In this graph, we might call the normal range the window of tolerance. When a traumatic event or a stressful occurrence takes place (possibly also harkening back to a past event) our bodies can react, moving to a state of hyperarousal, hypoarousal, or back and forth. This may take place until we can regulate our nervous systems and come back to equilibrium.

Trauma, high stress, and addiction all decrease the window of tolerance. Imagine this normal range becoming narrower so we’re bouncing to fight or flight more regularly, or plummeting down to freeze or fawn more regularly. Coping mechanisms, particularly somatic practices and connection in safe relationships, can widen this window of tolerance, helping our nervous systems and emotions to stay regulated more easily.

Here’s a great TikTok from @Sleepylands, a therapist who explains this below:

@sleepylands

Part 1- I know it’s boring but I hope it helps someone. LMK I will post part 2 #trauma #traumatok #therapytiktok #therapy #emotionalregulation #therapistsontiktok #healing #healingtiktok #resiliency

♬ original sound – sleepy

— Photos by Renee Roederer

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A post shared by Frankie Simmons ✨ Sunshine Hunter (@frankiedoodledandy)

I was in the midst of a community conversation on Zoom, and we were reflective, sharing deep needs together. From that sharing, a kindness arose: “I want to give you a teddy bear,” someone said.

Then there was a pivot.

Technically, someone started it, but in a rather spontaneous contagion, people seemed to leave their computer screens at once and come back with a bunch of stuffies. There were a variety of animals. We had bears and elephants. My two narwhals, Boris and Bella, swam across the Zoom screen. All of us, full grown adults, and most of us, adults in our senior years, decided that grown-ups need lovies too.

And in a moment of playfulness, we loved each other.

—Renee Roederer

I wonder what other hidden rules we miss?

@jasonkpargin

♬ Carmen Habanera, classical opera(1283412) – perfectpanda

It’s fascinating how an encounter with music can transport us to another time. I was driving in my car yesterday, listening to my music on shuffle, when the keyboard intro to “Morning Glow” began, a number from the musical Pippin. I smiled instantly, and as the song progressed, I sang along with gusto. Feel free to have a listen.

I attended a high school that is nationally and internationally recognized for theatre, and I had tremendous adventures taking part in that. I was also able to do this alongside an incredible set of friends. At an age where we were developmentally known to shrug things off, we were aware that we were experiencing something very special when it came to our theatre experiences; I have a number of vivid memories where I remember thinking intentionally that I needed to savor this.

“Morning Glow” is one of those memories. We performed Pippin when I was in my junior year. This was my favorite show of my high school years, and as the Leading Player, it was my favorite role too. Because I had that part, I didn’t stand on the stage when Pippin, the main character, and most of the chorus sang “Morning Glow.” But I was in the wings, specifically in a little area just to the side of the front part of the stage near these textured, stone walls that were a part of our auditorium.

Every single performance, I sang there from the wings. I added my voice to my classmates on stage, and I loved that we got to create this. I felt this awareness of being young, very alive, and grateful. And I sang my 17 year old heart out:

Morning glow, by your light. 
We can make the new day bright.
And the phantoms of the night. 
Will fade into the past. 
Morning glow is here at last. 

It feels cheesy when I type it out in print. But it was a special moment every performance. And I felt that yesterday, too, multiple decades later while singing again from my car. I remember my from-the-wings self, grateful to create with others, present, in the moment, savoring.

—Renee Roederer

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), people examine how their thoughts, emotions, and actions are connected. I like what my colleague says about this. Andrea Thomas, LLP, MA, Psychologist at the Henry Ford Comprehensive Epilepsy Center, shares,

“Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected. If one isn’t feeling right or working in the way that we’d like it to, we can change one of them, and the others will shift too.”

This is true, but we rarely think about it.

Which of these do we want to shift?
Which of these do we need to shift?

How might that affect the whole?

–Renee Roederer

— Photos by Renee Roederer

This is about a woman named Barbara who makes an absurdly great rhubarb cake. Then, when the popularity of this rhubarb cake takes off, she opens a bar to sell her cake. Unfortunately some Barbarians come, and they need some barbering to cut their beards. But hey, they can still eat that glorious rhubarb cake! Enjoy.

@bodowartke

Part 2 findet Ihr in der Playlist unten! Dass die Barbaren und der Barbier neben dem Bier auch bei Barbaras Rhabarberkuchen zugegriffen haben, liegt an der appetitanregenden Wirkung der im Rhabarber enthaltenen Apfel- und Zitronensäuren – denn: “Sauer macht gelüstig”. Vielen Dank an @Marti Fischer für die tolle Zusammenarbeit und den freshen Beat! #bodowartke #einversuch #onetake #rhabarber #barbaren #barbapapa #barbier #zungenbrecher #zungenbrecher4punkt0 #tonguetwisters #zungenfertigkeit #reimkunst #sprechgesang #hiphop #hiphoptonguetwisters #rap #raptonguetwisters

♬ Barbaras Rhabarberbar – Bodo Wartke