“Mom — Grandma! Look!”
This is the phrase I heard so many times while I was recently in Kroger. A young girl — maybe 8 or so — kept requesting her Grandma’s attention. She kept accidentally calling her Mom but then correcting herself.
“Mom — Grandma! Look!”
Then Grandma would look, and she did so with affection every single time. And that’s when the little girl would break into song. I wonder what sort of personal connection they had to this song. It was known to just about everyone in the store, but it seemed to have particular meaning to them.
“Oh, when the saints! Go marching in! Oh, when the saints go marching in!”
“Mom – Grandma! Look!” The girl opens the ice freezer. “Oh, when the saints! Go marching in! Oh, when the saints go marching in!” They laugh.
“Mom – Grandma! Look!” The girl picks up a grocery bag and starts marching. “Oh, when the saints! Go marching in! Oh, when the saints go marching in!” Grandma sings too.
“Mom – Grandma! Look!” The girl turns around in place. “Oh, when the saints! Go marching in! Oh, when the saints go marching in!” People are watching them interact, but the girl mostly just notices her Grandma.
Over and over again, she is expressing a need to be seen, and Grandma is seeing with affection. This is such a profound, human need.
Certainly, we don’t all shout “Lookit!” and break into song in the grocery store, but that being said, I don’t think we ever outgrow this need to see and be seen. It is a joy to recognize the moments when we are held in a loved one’s vision, and it is a joy to see loved ones with the same kind of affection and connection.
I don’t typically do New Year’s Resolutions, and yet, I find myself resolving to this: I want to have a year with vision and connection. I don’t want to see past people. Instead, I want to joyfully see people — in their discoveries, in their element, in their vulnerability (when invited), and in their own joys. And I want to be seen in these ways too.
A year of seeing and being seen.
“Lookit!”
Smuggling Grace 