39 So Fine

Today is my 39th birthday. I find myself reflecting on my 30s and how I’d like to spend this final year in a personal decade of time.

I have talked about the 30s with more affection than just about anyone else I know. I have truly loved being in my 30s, and I’ve reflected on this in writings and conversations quite often. This is just flat out a great set of ages. And yet, when I look over the landscape of my 30s, I also think, wow, I waded through a lot of difficult experiences in this decade of time. Like, a lot.

It’s kind of interesting how a set of ages can be felt in particular ways despite the challenging experiences that happen within those ages. Maybe this is also a testament that we can come to learn some of who we are and who we want to be in the midst of stress (though I wouldn’t say stress is necessary or somehow, a great gift for formation). This is definitely a testament to goodness accompanying our stress, sometimes surprisingly.

Because alongside a number of big hardships in my 30s, I see abundance. I see relationships coming into being and deepening. I see creativity emerging. I see generativity growing. I see a sense of home continuing. And as I move toward another year, I see possibilities forming.

I don’t experience any of this with rose colored glasses. I just believe in renewal.

So I have hopes for age 39. I don’t expect it to be easy because… just look in any direction.

But these are just flat out great ages, and I intend to close them out well.

–Renee Roederer