I remember something wise one of my seminary classmates said many years ago. She had a caregiving career before coming to seminary, and she was applying it to her current studies as well. It’s about where and how she chooses to set boundaries. She said,
“You can inconvenience me, but you can’t hurt me.”
That’s an important distinction. Without stepping back and reflecting on the difference, and how these both feel to us, we might either move forward in ways that hurt us, or we might quickly dismiss someone who really needs our help.
There can also be times when a certain level of inconvenience also begins to hurt us, but that’s precisely when we begin to negotiate how we’re communicating or helping.
That’s just really wise:
“You can inconvenience me, but you can’t hurt me.”
–Renee Roederer
Smuggling Grace 