A person looks at the night sky, filled with stars.
Sometimes, I marvel at who is in my life. Sometimes, I am stunned to ponder that I could begin alone then become connected to who after who after who after who.
And this never ends.
It’s like a Big Bang, really. A Whole Universe of Belonging.
We each start as a singularity. Then each one of us bursts forth, brought into an abundance of connections, born anew bit by bit through the particularities of relationship.
And these particularities create build form nurture cultivate and renew.
They expand.
This is an ever expanding Universe — this Cosmos of who after who after who after who.
Over the weekend, the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan, the organization I work for, held our Midland Stroll for Epilepsy. For me, it’s a real joy any time I get to meet people I’ve talked to over the phone. I can place a face with a name. That happened several times at the event.
1 in 26 people will be diagnosed with epilepsy at some point in their lifetimes. That means a lot of people are impacted by epilepsy. Whether you live in Michigan or another state entirely, I’d love to connect any of your loved ones — you, your family members, or members of your community — to their local Epilepsy Foundation affiliate. Any time we can know others and be a part of a community, it changes this experience. Let me know if you or your loved ones need connection with a local office.
Image Description: The text, “Time for change” is written in white chalk on a blackboard.
I appreciate the perspectives of David LaMotte, songwriter, musician, and author of Worldchanging 101: Challenging the Myth of Powerlessness. He reminds us that we are not always able to fix the many challenges of the world, but we are enabled to change them. Change is the powerful and empowering paradigm.
In my work, I am at times presented with challenges I don’t know how to fix. In those moments, I don’t have the personal knowledge, experiences, or access to necessary resources. In such situations, I have two primary strategies. They sound simplistic, but they are powerful and empowering too:
1) Care and 2) Connect.
Care We participate in changing situations when we care for the people experiencing them. There are times when people are bolstered by being heard, seen, understood, and loved.
We’ve likely heard about the placebo effect when it comes to medications. But this can be applied to caring presence as well. Studies have revealed that cancer patients do better on their treatment regimen when a doctor walks in to tell them that the treatment is beginning. In such moments, the doctor shares nothing overtly medical. They only offer their presence in connection to the treatment. When patients connect their treatment to a symbol and presence of care, the treatment is more effective.
When we add our presence and care to the people around us, we change difficult situations.
Connect As I shared above, there are times when we don’t have the personal knowledge, experiences, or access to necessary resources. In these moments, I think, “Get this person to people.” Sometimes, this involves a referral to a trusted source who will have that knowledge, experience, or access to necessary resources. But sometimes, we can’t think of anyone, and this is a general strategy to “get this person to community.”
The community often has the personal knowledge, experience, and access to resources. These are all held in the collective, and while you can’t always anticipate the precise relationships from which they will emerge, so often, they do come specifically from the community. This is something I trust because I watch it happen repeatedly. Every single week, I witness this.
We can change things. When in doubt, 1) Care and 2) Connect.
Image Description: A tree has two primary branches that split off from one another. The branch on the right side has many leaves, and the branch on the left side is totally bare.
While taking a walk, this tree grabbed my attention. It’s a Parable Tree, and it can symbolize any message we each need to ponder.
I walked among the congregation and called upon anyone who raised their hand. They were sharing joys and concerns with one another before we had a time of prayer. Folks shared about their neighbors and friends who were recovering from medical needs. Then a kind man raised his hand, and I walked over to him next.
“I’m glad you’re here!” he said.
I smiled and thanked him. I thanked all of them. “You always welcome me so warmly,” I added. I am a guest preacher for their congregation from time to time.
And that had me thinking back to something a colleague of mine once said. Rev. Denise Anderson said this (I’m paraphrasing from what I remember):
“There’s a big difference between saying, ‘You can come,’ and ‘You’re invited.'”
One is much more welcoming. In this community, I always feel the second. And I’m glad for any occasion when we can give from this message and receive from this message.
When you debate a person about something that affects them more than it affects you, remember that it will take a much greater emotional toll on them than on you. For you it may feel like an academic exercise. For them, it feels like revealing their pain only to have you dismiss their experience and sometimes their humanity. — Sarah Maddux
When we make space to be present to the moment before us, When we create intention to notice the surroundings around us, We are soon reminded of people.
Isn’t that true?
We walk around the grocery store and see a food item that someone especially likes.
We cross an email off our to-do list and remember someone we’d like to check in with later.
We smell a comforting scent and remember the people present in a long-ago memory.
The remembrances of people are around us all the time. This means we are invited into community all the time.
I find myself thinking about the word ‘remember.’ Though we don’t typically think about it this way, in English, the word is literally phrased as ‘member again.’ This is a way to express belonging. In community, we are members of one another. We belong.
