Author: gracesmuggler

Here’s the paradoxical thing about shame —

As a feeling, it is real.

As a reality, it is untrue.

There has never been a life chapter, a day, or even a moment when we were not worth love and belonging.

– Renee Roederer

Depression and anxiety are variable, meaning that symptoms may grow and lessen on given days, and in the case of anxiety, symptoms may fluctuate between nervous excitability and detached numbness.

I really appreciate these slides below because I think they name these realities well. These slides come from The Depression Project at @RealDepressionProject.

Today, I’d like to share this video from Dr. Nicole LePera, who goes by The Holistic Psychologist on social media.

She asks, “Do you have trauma brain?” Here are some signs she mentions:

1) Obsessive desire to be chosen by others without any awareness about how you and your body feel about the connection

2) Chronic social anxiety

3) Need for consistent distraction

4) Ego states of self-judgment and comparison

5) Lack of trust that leads to procrastination, self-sabotage, and shame cycles

If you notice any connections or resonance with these, be kind to yourself, know you’re not alone, and know that you can find help for these.

Captions are available when viewing from YouTube.

Any Place
and
Any Moment

can be
the Space
and
the Time

of
Revelation
and
Awareness.

Any single place and any single moment can open us to understanding and connection.

I’ve been learning a bit from Thomas Merton lately. Merton (1915-1968) was a Monastic Christian who lived in Kentucky. I love a particular both/and in his personal faith: He was a mystic, yet not at all removed from the world. He delved into some of the largest challenges and traumas that humanity has faced. He was a practical theologian and a humanitarian, grounded deeply in a sense of mystical communion with God and other people.

These two aspects of Merton’s faith really came together when he was simply standing at an intersection. He was standing on the corner of 4th and Walnut (now Muhammad Ali Blvd.) in Louisville, Kentucky. As he watched people walk by, he was suddenly overcome with a deep sense of connection. He said he was, “suddenly overcome with the realization that I loved all these people. . .” as they “walked around shining like the sun.”

It changed his whole life.

He probably wasn’t expecting that when he was out running some errands. But any place and any moment can introduce us to a revelation of understanding and connection. Any place and any moment.

When in Louisville a few years ago, I went to this corner. It’s really fitting because there’s still a great deal of foot traffic. There is a placard that commemorates this place and moment, and right behind it, is 4th Street Live — two city blocks typically blocked off for foot traffic with restaurants, and often, live music.

I snapped a photo of this place. I also stood there and remembered people I know as well. It was a meaningful experience.

And it was a good reminder.

Any Place
and
Any Moment

can open us for
Understanding
and
Connection.

Any single one at all.

– Renee Roederer

We can choose peace over productivity.

In fact, there may be a number of situations and contexts where we need to hear such freedom.

We really can choose peace over productivity.

We have constructed our culture in such a way to value productivity above much else — including our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of our neighbors.

When we are hurting, or when something in the news cycle hits close to home, how often do internalized messages bubble up to the surface, conveying. . . ?

“Come on. Get on with it.”

“This isn’t as bad as what ________ experienced. Why can’t I get anything done?”

“I don’t have time to think about this. I have so much to do.”

“Look competent.”

“Get it together.”

These are self-critical messages in contexts where our productivity and our constructed image are viewed more highly than our true selves and our need for wholeness.

Well, guess what matters more?

You — the real you — and your wholeness.

We can choose peace over productivity.

So what space do you need today?

– Renee Roederer

Trauma is a physical injury.

Alongside 8 high school students named in the news reports, many more were injured at Oxford. Thinking of everyone — first and foremost Oxford students, teachers, administrators, and parents — but also everyone, everywhere, grappling with this pain.

–Renee Roederer

I drove to my friend’s place. On the way there, I found myself looking forward to seeing her.

And…

I took a moment to recognize how sad and heavy I felt… just about the general state of things in our nation and in our world. I was really feeling it for the few hours that preceded that drive to her apartment.

When I arrived, I was glad to see her. She also cares deeply about the larger questions swirling about us these days. During our time together, I watched and listened as she delighted in the enjoyment of simple things: the coffee shop she drank today, the dress I was wearing a few days ago, her cat, and more.

Another person stopped by to drop off a treat. “I brought lemon cake!” she said as she came through the door.

“Oh my gawd!!!”

My friend exclaimed with such genuine delight. It filled me in a way I needed.

It makes complete sense to grieve and feel heavy about collective pain, confusion, and hardship. We’ll keep feeling these, at times, in waves. Some people are in very close proximity to these, and I know that feelings don’t always just switch on and off.

And in the midst of this, challenging as it is, right alongside it, I like to uplift the gift of simple joys too. There are so many tiny, wonderful experiences of daily living. My friend brought that home to me today.

So after saying goodbye to her and walking out her door, I packed up my car with chairs and immediately went to get my own coffee.

And every part of this shifted my day.

–Renee Roederer

I’d love to share these photos from my time outside yesterday. Winter is beautiful.

Let it snow… Let it snow… Let it snow… 

Welcome to December.

–Renee Roederer

A few times a year, I like to say thank you for following here at Smuggling Grace. I appreciate you taking the time to connect here, and as always, thanks for engaging too. I enjoy reading and hearing your comments virtually on the platform, in emails, or during real time conversation. Thank you!

And I’m always happy to expand the audience as well. Do you know anyone who might enjoy connecting with this blog? If so, feel free to pass it along. The more the merrier!

And I wish you a wonderful holiday season.

Thanks for engaging in community with me!

–Renee Roederer

Also a few times a year, for those who are interested, I extend an invitation to support this blog monthly on Patreon. You can join a team of people who bolster this space of daily reflection. You can also tip me with a coffee. Both of these are always great gifts, but truly, are never expected. I appreciate you being here. Thank you!