Smuggling Grace

I am very grateful to share a piece that my friend, Rabbi Rob Dobrusin, wrote the day after the assault on the U.S. Capitol building. I appreciate the ways he challenges us toward the larger, longer work we have to do to confront white supremacy and violence in our country. He writes,

It is definitely my inclination (and I think it is a good idea in general) to react to an event like yesterday’s with relief that it is over and to find a glimpse of hope for the future. But, then after that deep breath, it is essential to look more critically at some of the issues that we must confront in looking ahead.

First, I agree with all of those who say that while President Trump and some of his closest advisors and supporters are to blame for inciting the protestors yesterday, the ideas and the attitudes that were reflected in the protests began before this administration and will remain long after Jan 20. President Trump gave them legitimacy in a more blatant way than previous presidents did but he is not the first to use language and take actions which inspire hate filled individuals to feel empowered. Still, from the very beginning of his candidacy, his continued statements which fueled actions of this kind were clear and unmistakeable.

But, those attitudes are still going to remain. One of the best statements I heard yesterday was from a commentator quoting Winston Churchill: “Dictators ride to and fro on tigers from which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry”. This administration will come to an end on Jan 20, if not sooner, but the ideologies of hatred and bigotry and radical nationalism will still be there and will have to be confronted. This movement is fueled by President Trump but it has enough fuel without him at the head.

Secondly, the reality which so many have raised and occurred to so many of us yesterday must be addressed clearly. Why were these individuals able to get access to the capitol building? Why did we see pictures of police and guards stepping aside or smiling with the protestors (even taking pictures with them). Why were there so few arrests? The contrast between the peaceful black lives matter protest in June outside the White House which was broken up with tear gas and this atrocity yesterday could not be more clear and speaks again to the issues of racial inequality and injustice in this country. How could a black lives matter flag be deemed offensive and “anti-American” while those carrying confederate flags were told by the president; “We love you”?

These issues will not go away now that the horror of yesterday has passed. I’m glad we can breathe a sigh of relief but once we do that, we have to confront these issues which are not going to disappear with the end of this administration.

— Rabbi Rob Dobrusin

Rabbi Rob Dobrusin is the Rabbi Emeritus of Beth Israel Congregation of Ann Arbor. He hosts a beautiful podcast that I highly recommend to you, entitled, Wrestling and Dreaming: Engaging Discussions on Judaism.

As we wade through the many emotions evoked by what happened at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday, I thought I would share yesterday’s episode of The Daily, the New York Times daily podcast. This 41 minute episode is well worth our time as it speaks about the events from a variety of moments, experiences, and voices. It’s presented in a style of storytelling, and I found that approach to be powerful and poignant.

I highly recommend taking some space and time to listen directly to the people who experienced these terrifying, uncertain moments:

The Daily: An Assault on the Capitol

Best to you,
Renee

Dear Friends,

As we process the violence and upheaval taking place in our nation’s capital, our hearts are with D.C. and also with each other. Feelings of anger, pain, grief, anxiety, shock, and numbness all make sense as we witness these events and many feel traumatized. It’s difficult to grapple with the uncertainty as well. Whatever we’re experiencing, I hope we feel accompanied and upheld by what we hold most closely — the people most beloved to us and the values we seek to embody.

I think about communities and people embodying their values in action. People have risen to this, are rising to this, and will rise to this. Our visions and values are practiced in our homes, present in our workplaces, and active in the streets. They are expressed within our relationships.

May the connections between us say yes to the care between us.

We may need this care today and in the upcoming days. How do we put feelings into words? How do we navigate the daily tasks of living in a remarkably divided nation and world? What do we say, and how do we act? These questions resound and linger.

May the connections between us say yes to the care between us.

We are not alone, and in these days, I hope that you find care and encouragement among you, even amidst fear and heartache. I hope that when we feel that little nudge within us — “Call this person,” “Receive what you need,” “Take space,” “Drop off that meal,” “Write that post,” “Say what needs to be said,” “Send that text,” “Listen,” and, “Pause” — we will feel connected and guided.

Our connections lead to care. Our care connects us to the most foundational parts of what make us human. May we be accompanied and upheld by what we hold most closely — the people most beloved to us and the values we seek to embody.

Connection and care to you,
Renee

On a recent news story, I heard that 40% of Americans believe the coronavirus was manufactured in a Chinese laboratory. That’s a sizable part of our population, and that’s a belief that has impact and real consequences, even if there’s no evidence that it’s true. And it’s important to say this: There’s no evidence that it’s true.

Earlier this week, I overheard the tail end of a conversation where someone was asserting this. Because I arrived at the end, and a virtual event was just about to begin, I didn’t say anything. But I found myself thinking about it afterward. I won’t presume to know why this was said in this particular instance, because I wasn’t there for the full conversation.

But I’m curious why people believe this… why 40% of Americans believe this…

When a threat is real but invisible, perhaps people want to give it a story and an ‘enemy.’ When people are angry, hurt, and afraid, some want to find a scapegoat to blame. Rather than pointing at the inadequate responses of an administration, or especially, pointing to ourselves collectively for our failure to take precautions, some shift the blame to a hypothetical Chinese laboratory. But there’s no evidence for this, and feelings are not facts.

And feelings-not-facts theories easily tap into racism. This non-factual belief stirs up real, anti-Chinese sentiment, which impacts the experiences of Asians and Asian-Americans.

Feelings are not facts. But sometimes, they stir up real harm.

–Renee Roederer

In the United States, 1 in every 1000 people has died from COVID-19.

I try to let that sink in, and it’s difficult. How do you begin to grieve such enormous losses? That’s a shocking statistic, but people are also much more than statistics. Some are missing at the dining table. Some are no longer picking up their kids from school. Some are no longer being visited in care facilities. All are particular people with names, stories, personalities, preferences, and quirks. All are loved and missed — by people with names, stories, personalities, preferences, and quirks.

And in addition to the 1 in 1000 people who have died, a much larger number of people are dealing with ongoing symptoms that are affecting their respiratory, cardiovascular, and nervous systems in persistent ways. This is known as Post-COVID Syndrome.

We have authorized vaccines, and many of us eagerly await the occasion to receive them. But we also have other protective tools and measures. We have masks, physical distancing, and for those who can do this (this can be a privilege, I realize) we have the occasion to stay at home as often as possible. We need to use these wisely because vaccine distribution is going to take a significant amount of time, and the numbers are still on the rise. Our healthcare workers ask this of us because they are stretched so thin with hospitals filling to capacity. In many places, hospitals are beyond capacity with patients receiving care in hallways and in what used to be gift shops.

What we choose to do impacts people beyond ourselves.

I heard a podcast earlier this week about how contract tracers are having difficulty in following up with people who have been exposed to the coronavirus. I feel for them because this sounds like hard-wrought, emotional work. While listening, I was surprised that one of the locations featured was Washtenaw County, Michigan where I live. While precautions are needed everywhere, our transmission rate numbers are pretty middle-of-the-road. There are growing challenges right here, and of course, in all the “right here-s” wherever we may live.

I encourage people to listen to this 12-minute story: Contact Tracers Struggle to Keep Up as Coronavirus Cases Surge from Holiday Travel.

We’ve come this far, and the road has been difficult. I certainly understand that desire to gather and socialize. I feel it too. But we’ve also come this far with these losses; we know that more will continue if we let our guard down. We’re worth it. Our neighbors are worth it.

–Renee Roederer

When you stay home a lot due to the combination of COVID and a cold climate, you forget to look at the weather report. Yesterday morning, I awoke and felt some wonder as a I gazed out the window. It was a winter wonderland outside with snow resting on every tree branch. The beauty surprised me.

I thought I would share the view with you.

Images: Snow resting on tree branches and on the ground.
Photos, Renee Roederer

I often like to pick a theme for a month — something to focus upon or practice. I prefer this because how often do we actually keep new year’s resolutions? Also, what if you want to try something different midway through the year?

In January, I’m seeking to notice abundance in its various forms. After living a year like we just did, it’s easy to focus on scarcity. At the same time, a year like 2020 also brings into sharper focus what’s most important to us. There are still forms of abundance around us — connections (even if distanced), love, resources, ideas, and possibilities. We don’t need to deny the pain, of course. More often, we need help noticing the gifts.

Connected to my birthday, I launched a Facebook fundraiser over the weekend for the Interfaith Round Table of Washtenaw County. IRT is one of the communities I serve. I also sent an email to friends and family members and invited them to give if they would like to do so. Facebook fundraisers can be a bit overdone these days, I realize, but this one is meaningful for me. I believe in the vision of IRT and the ways we are able to bring neighbors together for connection, dialogue, mutual support, and interfaith cooperation.

In a short period of time, we raised about $1300, and I think we’ll raise a bit more in the next few days.

This is a huge form of abundance — not only in the amount raised but also in the amount of people who are contributing.

I found myself thinking… Wow. Sometimes, just… ask.

–Renee Roederer

If you’d like to contribute to this IRT fundraiser, you can do so on Facebook or you can give here. Thank you!

Today is my 39th birthday. I find myself reflecting on my 30s and how I’d like to spend this final year in a personal decade of time.

I have talked about the 30s with more affection than just about anyone else I know. I have truly loved being in my 30s, and I’ve reflected on this in writings and conversations quite often. This is just flat out a great set of ages. And yet, when I look over the landscape of my 30s, I also think, wow, I waded through a lot of difficult experiences in this decade of time. Like, a lot.

It’s kind of interesting how a set of ages can be felt in particular ways despite the challenging experiences that happen within those ages. Maybe this is also a testament that we can come to learn some of who we are and who we want to be in the midst of stress (though I wouldn’t say stress is necessary or somehow, a great gift for formation). This is definitely a testament to goodness accompanying our stress, sometimes surprisingly.

Because alongside a number of big hardships in my 30s, I see abundance. I see relationships coming into being and deepening. I see creativity emerging. I see generativity growing. I see a sense of home continuing. And as I move toward another year, I see possibilities forming.

I don’t experience any of this with rose colored glasses. I just believe in renewal.

So I have hopes for age 39. I don’t expect it to be easy because… just look in any direction.

But these are just flat out great ages, and I intend to close them out well.

–Renee Roederer

“I know it’s so arbitrary, but I am so ready to cross over into 2021.”

I said this repeatedly to a number of people over several days.

I’m a realist, and I know that the challenges of 2020 persist. But I’m also appreciative of the fresh start effect: There’s power in moments when we collectively agree that time is renewed, even if it’s an arbitrary change in the number that marks our calendar year.

But when I got about two hours away from the ball drop, I just wept. I didn’t expect this. It was a catharsis. The last year felt violent. It felt painful. And some are living with the absence of loved ones in tangible, persistent ways.

After crying, I remembered that some things can be renewed. Grief remains, and I don’t need to put a silver lining on it. But our stories continue, and we can surround each other emotionally and energetically in the midst of these challenges.

Sometimes, in fact, connection emerges spontaneously… I want more of this in 2021.

One hour later at 11pm, I dialed a number for a conference call. On Thursday afternoons, I facilitate a support group for the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan over the phone. On December 31, we connected during our typical afternoon time, and we began to talk about our New Year’s Eve plans.

“We want to ring in the new year together!” they said.

“Okay, let’s do it,” I said. “Who wants to call back at 11? We’ll cross into 2021 together.”

We did.

Without much planning ahead of time, people called from across the state of Michigan. We connected and found some things to celebrate. We sang a Christmas song together just because we wanted to do it. Why not? We played a game and laughed hard.

It was lovely.

If we’re feeling catharsis, it’s valid. We may need it.

If we’re feeling celebration, it’s valid. We may need it.

The challenges remain. And… we begin again.

–Renee Roederer

When I was 9, I heard about a white elephant gift exchange for the first time. My friend’s Mom was having one. I no longer believed in Santa, but for about two weeks of my life, I sincerely believed my friend was about to receive a small, white elephant as a pet.

And because I was over there all the time, I was about to receive a small, white elephant as a pet.

I was so very excited.

I still enjoy white elephant gift exchanges, but this one had the cutest expectations.

–Renee Roederer