Smuggling Grace

Follow the leads. This is my number one philosophy right now.

It’s also describes my primary rhythm of practices. I’ve done this before in other endeavors, but in this chapter, I’m being even more intentional in living this way as I try to initiate what I feel called to create.

This photo above is my raggedy-looking “leads journal.” It’s different than a bullet journal, though it does log what I’ve done and what I aspire to do. Most of all, it includes lists of discernment in which I ask myself things like, “What’s the next step with this task?” or “Who should I contact next?” or “How do I follow up on that idea someone gave me?”

I am doing this in connection to all areas of my work, including,

Michigan Nones and Dones,
Community Chaplaincy,
Campus Ministry (both chaplaincy and the new undergraduate community I want to create),
and
How to fund these things™ (a constant challenge; another blog post about that later)

I believe in the Follow the Leads philosophy. First of all, it helps you think about possibilities. Second of all (though maybe this is first of all, at least in terms of priority) these possibilities are created through relationships and conversations in community. In other words, they are revealed in community.

Perhaps most of all, I just trust it.

I trust it because I’ve seen what can happen when people are committed to following “every thread of every conversation,” as Ben Johnston-Krase and Allen Brimer mention here in this video. Following a dream (including literally) Ben and Allen helped that dream become concrete as they followed the leads that were placed before them, resulting in a “church that meets on a farm and leverages all the resources of that farm to address food insecurity.” (To learn more about Farm Church, visit www.farmchurch.org.)

But also, I trust it because… what else can you do? When trying new things, certain aspects are hard. For me, funding is an ever-present challenge. At this point, if I don’t have the answers, maybe I just need to trust that a follow-the-leads strategy will reveal them.

If God and the community have placed a calling in your bones, surely there are ways to make that calling emerge concretely, and surely there are ways to make it sustainable too.

So, I’m going to follow the leads.

–Renee Roederer

This post is a part of a series this week. Feel free to read the other posts as well:

Trying New Things
Trying New Things: Joy at the Center

I’m not a student, but I have the jitters today. Some are anxiety-jitters, but most are excitement-jitters. We begin a new academic year at the University of Michigan today.

And I am very eager for this one!

Building community among students is pretty much my favorite thing in the whole world. In three states and in a variety locations and contexts, I’ve been doing this for ten years. Today marks the beginning of year eleven (and I’m just now realizing, the second decade — whoa).

For the last two years, sponsored by the Presbytery of Detroit, I’ve been working as a Community Chaplain. This is a rather unique role that we crafted together. While I am connected to a number of faith communities, my work is not housed solely within any one, particular church. Instead, I am commissioned to be a Chaplain within the wider community, especially among those who are not formally, religiously affiliated. This means that I meet with students from a variety of faith backgrounds or none at all. Sometimes, when they are seeking a faith community, I point them in a number of directions. Very often, we meet for coffee and talk about faith, spirituality, and what’s happening in their lives. I also meet with a variety of student groups (many are social action groups) and find ways to connect people to people, based upon their interests and skills.

I love this work.

And this year, within this larger vision, I’m starting something new as well. This year, in addition to meeting with many students one-on-one, and continuing to help out with other student communities (Canterbury House, in particular), I am also hoping to start a brand new student community.

In the spring, I was accepted into a new program of Montreat Camp and Conference Center in North Carolina. It’s called Young Adult Initiators. (Kind of a cheesy title, but it’s a good description!) This program seeks leaders who want to create new communities of young adults where they live.

In the winter, there was an application process that invited people to pitch ideas for what these new communities might look like, as well as what purposes they might serve. I pitched an idea to start an undergraduate community similar to Michigan Nones and Dones, and I was grateful to be accepted into the cohort. While some of the ideas are still to develop — I want students to co-create the vision community — this will be a discussion community where students can talk about faith, spirituality, and larger meaning over food (because shared meals are a very magical, spiritual practice for forming community!) Very likely, this community will meet at our house. We’ll probably begin with a monthly rhythm and then go from there.

Starting brand new communities…. this is also one of my very favorite things in the world. But no doubt, it’s hard work! There are challenges, and there’s a constant learning-curve. But it’s also exciting, and I know from experience, you can hardly anticipate how one thing might lead to another wonderful thing. It’s all a process.

So this week, I’m going to write about some of what I ponder when I begin new things. I’ll discuss frameworks and rhythms that I find to be helpful. I’ll also be honest about the pieces that are challenges or growing edges for me in this work.

And I would love to hear from you too. What new things are calling you? An opportunity, a practice, a mindset, a risk, a re-connection, a new question?

–Renee Roederer

This post is part of a series this week. Feel free to read the other pieces also:

Trying New Things: Following the Leads
Trying New Things: Joy at the Center

I recently performed a stand-up set at Hersay IV, a comedy show with twelve women in Ann Arbor. We had so much fun!

Thought I’d share that today. The video quality is so-so, but the sound is great. Enjoy!

Moving Our Perspective

And be sure to read the first couple of comments too because I absolutely love a certain photo of folks who learned a new fact via the set. 🙂

–Renee Roederer

Do you know what gives you joy?

Whatever it is, or whomever or however, can you access it? Can you lean into it? Can you laugh in its presence? Can you rest in it? Can you marvel about it?

What is it? Can you recall it right now?

Sometimes, I find that helpful. And sometimes, we’re fortunate when joy just shows up, and rather than practicing recall, we can simply receive it.

What a gift that is.

Today I will be honest about something:

For a whole year now, I have been living and carrying three different, big stressors. Whew. And in the midst of these, a fourth keeps emerging too: Too often, I don’t sleep enough. I am writing this at 3am. (But don’t worry, writing this will help me sleep rather than take more away. I’m also going to sleep in).

In the midst of all of this, I also marvel sometimes… because side by side with these big challenges, the last twelve months have also revealed so much joy. Beautiful connections, wonderful hopes, and an ongoing sense of knowing and choosing the very forms of calling that seem to be choosing me.

What a lovely paradox that is. No need to downplay the stressors here — they’re challenging — but also… (how wonderful to say, “but also…”) they are accompanied by joy too. And I feel fortunate to know that. And sometimes, these gifts come as a wonderful surprise as well.

Here are some lovely, poetic words from Mary Oliver:

Don’t Hesitate

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happened better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. (Don’t Hesitate)

Yes!

I wonder, which ongoing stories in our lives need this posture from us?

Don’t hesitate!

(Also, don’t hesitate to go back to bed. Doing that now….)

–Renee Roederer

Here’s a silly quip that has stayed with me for many years:

Remember well, and bear in mind that a jaybird’s tail sticks out behind.

It’s goofy. But the context of the quote has stayed with me the most. My surrogate Dad David used to say this to me, especially when I was anxious about something. He would often follow it by saying,

“There are some things you can always count on.”

And sometimes, he would follow it more. Referencing himself and Amy, his wife, he would add,

“There are two people in New Albany, Indiana who love you very much.”

Remember well, and bear in mind that a jaybird’s tail sticks out behind.

From time to time, I still think this phrase to myself. Sometimes, I share it with others.

I wonder, which ongoing stories in our lives need this posture from us?

–Renee Roederer

It’s pretty rare for a Facebook post to have more shares than likes, but that’s what the stats currently tell me about a post I made last week: As of now, there are 63 likes, but there are 113 shares.

I follow the MisterRogersQuotes handle on Twitter, so my screens receive daily quotes from Fred Rogers. I’m glad for that. Occasionally, I’ll screenshot one on my phone and then share it to Facebook also. That’s what I did last week.

He says,

“Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect — on any front — and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.”

In an screenshotted image, this simple but very helpful quote spread fast on Facebook. And I realized, people are really longing for this kind of grace, hoping to stand in the presence of people who convey, “‘the best you can do’ is truly enough.” And, of course, we need to hear that we’re worth loving and are ourselves ‘enough’ even when ‘the best we can do’ falls short as well. This is true when circumstances inhibit us or when we fail. Our worth and acceptance need not be conditioned on ‘the best we can do.’ Worth and acceptance can be unconditional. This is grace.

It seems that a large and quick number of shares reveal that we need to hear this message again.

So I wonder, which ongoing stories in our lives need this posture from us?

–Renee Roederer

Years ago, when it was still on Netflix, I would occasionally watch the show Intervention. Do any of you remember that show? It was originally on A&E.

On the show, families worked with interventionists to implement an intervention to address and confront the addiction of a particular family member. Family members and close friends would gather together, express love for their family member, name the ways that the addiction had harmed them personally, and share what they were going to change in relationship to the addiction. Then, ultimately, they tried to convince their family member to go to treatment. That very day, in fact.

The interventionists often helped the larger family choose wellness for themselves. Too often, they had let their health go by the wayside. They needed to get well for themselves. Their wellness might also create conditions for their family member to choose the same. I remember Jeff VanVonderen, one of the interventionists, encouraging the families to take a particular posture toward their member with an addiction. He modeled this statement for them, saying,

“I want you to get well, but I’m going to get well whether you do or not.”

All these years later, while taking a walk, this phrase suddenly popped into my mind again. I needed it. It’s a helpful one — in cases of addiction, yes — but also in regard to many kinds of challenges or conflicts.

“I want you to get well, but I’m going to get well whether you do or not.”

Years ago, I did a lot of studying of Family Systems Theory. This area of study explores the ways that communities function — families, workplaces, religious communities, schools — and considers how self-differentiated members can impact the larger health of these communities. This doesn’t involve internalizing the need-for-health of the whole organization. This doesn’t involve staying unwell, holding the stress of the organization, or continuously trying to convince the community that it needs help. It often involves prioritizing one’s own health.

“I want you to get well, but I’m going to get well whether you do or not.”

When we do this, we definitely move toward health. Sometimes, others will never choose it, and we need to choose it for ourselves. But sometimes, a surprising thing happens too. That choice adds additional health to the family, community, or organization (not saving it, or taking it on, but a healthy side effect) and sometimes, others begin to choose it too.

So I wonder, what ongoing stories in our lives need this posture from us?

“I want you to get well, but I’m going to get well whether you do or not.”

–Renee Roederer

Hello, friends. A different kind of story today!

Over the weekend, the Toledo Blade Newspaper ran an article about the Michigan Nones and Dones community. If you’ve ever wondered what we’re up to with this community vision, this is a fantastic description.

Enjoy!

‘Nones and Dones’ Help Conflicted Reconnect to Their Spiritual Side

Hooboy, I did not feel great last week. I had a number of wonderful things in my days, but physically, I became sick in a way that just seemed to plummet more and more throughout the week. I can’t remember the last time I felt quite like that. On Saturday, things began to turn around. I had the most wonderful springboard for it:

S and J came over, bearing gifts of tea and scones.

We had already planned this. Well, sort of. We had put out some feelers to the Michigan Nones and Dones community the week before, wondering if we might have a potluck together, but I didn’t hear much interest. And feeling the way I did, I didn’t follow through much beyond that.

But S just picked up on it all. Somehow, she sensed that I was feeling really badly. “Should J and I come over and take care of our Renee?”

I said yes to that, and they really did! With so much intention, they brought tea and blueberry scones that they had personally made. I extended the spread with coffee, fruit, and fresh tomatoes from the garden. And for two hours, our conversation danced around laughter, wisdom, and personal sharing.

It’s amazing how community relationships can impact our bodies. This moment was nothing short of good medicine.

This week, I am totally back on the up and up.

Grateful for elders.
Grateful for friends.
Grateful for tables of food.
Grateful for care.

Grateful to be back in the land of the living this week!

–Renee Roederer

I was walking in downtown Ann Arbor when I crossed the street and encountered a man holding a sign.

AMERICA

Welcomes

IMMIGRANTS

Including my

ANCESTORS

I began to pass by him and a made a round of applause gesture in affirmation of what he was doing. But then, I decided to stop. I requested his permission for a photo and asked if I could share about this on my blog. “Sure!” he said enthusiastically.

His name is Kent Bourland, and it was wonderful to take a little time to get to know him. I asked him, “What motivates you to do this?”

He said, “I’m out here almost every day. And I will be out here almost every day until all the migrant children are reunited with their parents. Every single one.” Some of his other signs address these separations directly.

I asked him why he chose to act in this way. Arguably, in response to his sign, America isn’t welcoming of immigrants right now, at least on the whole. He said that he wants to counter the narratives behind that.

“You know, I decided to do this because I got tired of feeling like there was nothing I could do.” He found something he could do uniquely, and in doing so, he has started a lot of conversations and encouraged more forms of action.

I noticed he was wearing a suit. “Gracious, you must be really hot,” I said, also noticing that water bottles were sticking out of his suit pockets.

“Yeah, I want to come dressed like this because I don’t want anyone to write me off saying, ‘Oh, he’s just some hippie.'” Kent Bourland is outside holding signs, building empathy and changing perspectives.

“You know, I decided to do this because I got tired of feeling like there was nothing I could do.”

I wonder what we can uniquely do.

–Renee Roederer