My hair is a Midwesterner too. You know how I know this? Because it said, “Ope, let me just sneak right past ya.” With the GRAY.
I just noticed last week that my roots are a lighter color than the rest of my hair. A grayer-brown is coming in. And I hadn’t noticed at all for a good while. It did really Ope itself into a sneak-right-by.
It’s actually not super noticeable yet, especially in the light, but now I’ve noticed. I’m also relatively fine with this, because I welcome aging generally. But… I’ve also liked my hair the way it is. I was additionally going to get blonde highlights sometime this summer. I think I’m still going to do that.
I shared this with some friends, assuming that my gray revelation is pretty early at my age, but lots of them have said, “Wait, this is just starting for you?” They’ve already been there.
Over the weekend, I had a chance to meet with some people I’ve never met in person, and it was delightful. The Young Adult Call and Connect Group from the Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan has been connecting together over Zoom for the last two years, and this was our chance to gather together off the screen. These young adults made a team for the Grand Rapids Stroll for Epilepsy. (And they called themselves the Young Adult Krew so they could be the Yaks. Their shirts were cute).
We would have met over Zoom regardless of Covid because people live in different parts of the state. But these friendships have taken root and been really meaningful, so they wanted to make the effort to gather in person for this event.
When I saw them together, I realized that this was the first time I was meeting many of them in person, but that didn’t feel true. I was reminded that virtual friendship is real friendship, and the ties can run deep. And I’m grateful for this.
Written in chalk, “You are Loved.” Public domain image.
“Whenever I groan within myself and think how hard it is to keep writing about love in these times of tension and strife which may at any moment become for us all a time of terror, I think to myself “What else is the world interested in?” What else do we all want, each one of us, except to love and be loved, in our families, in our work, in all our relationships. God is Love. Love casts out fear. Even the most ardent revolutionist, seeking to change the world, to overturn the tables of the money changers, is trying to make a world where it is easier for people to love, to stand in that relationship to each other. We want with all our hearts to love, to be loved. . . . It is when we love the most intensely and most humanly that we can recognize how tepid is our love for others. The keenness and intensity of love brings with it suffering, of course, but joy too because it is a foretaste of heaven. . . .
“When you love people, you see all the good in them, all the Christ in them. God sees Christ, His Son, in us and loves us. And so we should see Christ in others, and nothing else, and love them. There can never be enough of it. There can never be enough thinking about it. St. John of the Cross said that where there was no love, put love and you would take out love. The principle certainly works. [1] . . . “
“Love and ever more love is the only solution to every problem that comes up. If we love each other enough, we will bear with each other’s faults and burdens. If we love enough, we are going to light that fire in the hearts of others. And it is love that will burn out the sins and hatreds that sadden us. It is love that will make us want to do great things for each other. No sacrifice and no suffering will then seem too much. [2] ”
[1] Dorothy Day, On Pilgrimage (New York: Catholic Worker Books, 1948), 52.
[2] Dorothy Day, House of Hospitality (Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor, 2015), 267.
For the last couple of weeks, I’ve found myself listening to the 4th Movement of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony almost every day. I had the wonderful occasion to sing it recently with the UMS Choral Union and the Budapest Festival Orchestra, and I reflected upon that incredible experience on this blog. But I’m nowhere near tired of this work. Musically and emotionally, it’s a masterpiece.
And I realize that it draws me back almost daily because of its obvious subject matter: JOY.
Each day, I seem to get some new joy from it — a hope, a feeling, a dream, a memory. A few days ago, a vivid memory popped in my mind while listening. I had not thought of it for many years, but there it was, so clear and wonderful. It was an embodiment of joy. All these years later, it reminds me of something important.
In my town, one gas station is consistently much cheaper than the rest. It ebbs and flows like all the others, but relative to the others, it’s always much cheaper.
Last night, I stopped by to fill up my car. I went inside and paid with cash so it would be 10 cents cheaper than the debit/credit option. After filling up, I had to go back inside once more for change because my car didn’t need as much as I paid. Some others around me did the same.
And when we walked back to our respective cars, we were all rejoicing and cheering for ourselves, as if we had been so clever and won a game. We scored gas under $4! There was an instant kinship. Team Petrol Savings.
A while back, a friend of mine made this cute little sticker and sent it to me and some other colleagues. It’s a potato, and it says, “You can do the thing!”
Yesterday, someone told me, “When Christine Blasey Ford testified, that just fired me up. I made a sign in protest, and I went and stood in front of the Lansing Capitol. A lot of people honked in support.”
For some reason, I really needed to hear that little story. Did that action keep Brett Kavanaugh from being confirmed on the Supreme Court? No, it didn’t. But did it matter? Yes.
Did it let people know that they themselves were being supported? Yes. Does that matter? Yes.
Did it let officials know that they are being watched? Yes. Does that matter? Yes.
Did it allow someone to express their emotions and resonate with what was happening? Yes. Does that matter? Yes.
Did perhaps inspire someone else to take action or tell their story? Probably. Does that matter? Yes.
Image Description: A black and white photo of Fred Rogers, smiling.
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
Image Description: Scrabble blocks spell the word ‘Joy.’ Public domain image.
A mentor of mine often says this: “It’s not stealing my joy!”
Whatever the it may be, it certainly could steal joy.
He’s been through many difficult hardships over the span of his life — personally, interpersonally, and socially across the decades. He doesn’t sugar coat any of them. He’d also tell you that he’s had many great gifts and blessings alongside them all.
But this statement of his — “It’s not stealing my joy!” — is about daily delights. It seems he doesn’t want to give an inch of his joy to anything or anyone who would harm or oppress.
I know that for many people, this is much easier said than felt, especially when we’re in the thick of it. All of the other feelings are valid, of course, and he feels those too. And there are days, and maybe even months or years, where we can’t easily flick the switch and turn on joy.
But I so appreciate this perspective and this posture toward living.
Smuggling Grace 